GoonBlog.com

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks.

What Role Does Fighting Have in the New NHL?


in Killer

How many times do we have to listen to that question? Look at the NBA, MLB, NFL and hell even NASCAR for all you gear heads out there, you fight you are suspended and or fined large amounts of $$$. Some examples include Carmelo Anthony hitting some punk from the Knicks with his purse and got suspended for 15 games while former Sox hurler Bronson Arroyo got suspended for 6 games after a fight against the Tampa Bay DevilDogs. Were either of those fights necessary? I’m sure if you asked Melo and Bronson they would respond with a resounding YES but in all honesty, those fisticuffs had no real impact on the outcome of the game.

Take last night’s B’s tilt vs. Edmonton. The pre-game started with a nice tribute to The Chief Johnny Bucyk for his 50 yeas of service to the organization. He even got a Rolex and a brand new Volvo SUV for his troubles. I’m not sure that’s enough for the torture of dealing with Jeremy and his smarty pants son Charley Jacobs all these years but hey to each their own. The arena had a nice buzz to it and I’m sure so did Chris wherever he was! The game opened with a few sloppy plays by both sides with all in all not much spirited action. Then all hell breaks loose when Jeremy Reich busts his ass down to prevent an icing and bangs into Matt Greene. Wammo kablamo the gloves are off and away they go. Solid scrap with Reich getting the nod in this tilt.

By the way, other than a guy getting one punched – hockey fights, for the most part, end up pretty even. Now the place is rockin, fans are pounding beers along with their chests, Chris I am sure is doing the same and you can sense the B’s have some life. Just over 2 minutes after the fight, the B’s strike on a PP followed by another goal and take a 2-0 lead in to the first intermission. Eventually leaving the ice with a 3-0 W and two much needed points.

Without that fight, who knows what would have happened in this game. With it, one can clearly understand what role fighting has in the NHL. This fight changed momentum, got the home crowd into the game, sparked life into a near lifeless team, got me to put the remote down and not change it to, god help me as I type thisAmerican Idol. That hurt, sorry about that, its’ part of my recovery process I am going through by being honest about things. Fighting is listed as a 5 minute penalty in the NHL (other additional minutes can be incurred due to the Instigator rule). It’s as clear as Wet Lite lubricant. Fighting has always and will continue to play a significant impact in the NHL. The day fighting in the NHL incurs a similar punishment as other professional sports is the day hockey will truly die. I hope for my sake that never occurs. Long Live the pugilist!

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GoonBlog: The Podcast. Episode #4


in Hockey Podcasts

February 10th, 2007 was a sunny Saturday in Boston – until the fetid, odorous cloud that is the GoonSquad turned on a microphone and ruined everything. Highlights from Podcast #4 include guest appearances from Brandy and the infamous MOL, echoes of Tilsonburg, Colton Orr’s first goal and the worst attempted catchphrase in human history.

Hockey Podcast

20 minutes and 4 Red Stripes later it was all over, and the birds once again began to sing. If you enjoy our podcast, please spread the word. And don’t forget to send us your feedback, criticism and suggestions. Stay Goony, Ponyboy!

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T-Shirt Contest: Who’s Your Favorite Goon of All Time?


in Contests

In the interests of fostering a little fun and interactivity here on GB, Chris and I have decided to launch a contest – first prize of which will be one of our new t-shirts. The object is simple: Email us and name your favorite goon of all time, and why. The rules are even simpler:

  • Make sure your email is at least 500 words. The shirts are nice, and we want to see you skate a little bit for them.
  • Steer clear of “…just because he was awesome!” types of answers. Tell us why said pugilist is your favorite of all time. Specifics will be rewarded.
  • Bonus points for photographs of yourself with the goon in question.

Those are the details, and it isn’t rocket science. Who have we overlooked? Put it in writing, email it to us and you just might end up with the coolest hockey t-shirt going. It’s so hot right now.

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Colton Orr Scores!


in Colton Orr, Goons

FUCKING ORRSIE!!!! I just watched Colton Orr score his first ever NHL Goal!! I feel like a proud father. It was a pretty good one too. Nice backhander, after a crash and bang move to the goal! Kid has hands!! Off to dinner with MOL. Podcast coming tomorrow boys. Stay tuned.

Colton Orr

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Super Sunday


in Chris, Eric Cairns

This season marks year three of Goonblog HQ being wired for the NHL Center Ice Package. I had it the year before the lockout, and the two seasons since. In each of the three I have had it; I have sort of adopted a team I watch if the beloved Bruins aren’t playing. I don’t really do it consciously, it just kind of happens. The first season, it was Dallas. I like Billy Guerin, and they were a fun team to watch. Plus MOL liked them too. I think she had a crush on Mike Modano. Can you blame her? Last season, was a bit more on purpose. My team was the Harford Whalers. I had been watching a lot of those guys for a couple of years in Lowell, and when the lockout ended, it was natural to follow them to the NHL. This season, I have been a rabid Pittsburgh Penguins fan. They are fun to watch, and the color schemes are just similar enough to the Bruins, that it throws MOL off her game. As in, Hey wait. This isn’t the Bruins.

Why Pittsburgh? Well, like I said. It really isn’t on purpose. I saw the first couple games of the season, and I like the way they play. Say what you will about Sidney Crosby, but the kid is legit. No question he is the future of the NHL. Throw in Jordan Staal, and Evgeni Malkin, and you have three of the best young forwards in the game. Then, throw in the guys that have to stick up for the big three. Colby Armstrong, who can play some hockey, Ryan Malone, who I’d love to see in the Black and Gold, and Eric Big Daddy Cairns are all on the roster and can be counted on to drop the mitts if required. Plus, Brooks Orpik hits like a train, and can be a bit dirty. So, if you have the Center Ice Package, I suggest any Penguins game. I guarantee a good time.

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Bonjour Raymond.Ca Va? Bonjour, Ca Va Bien!


in Killer

I was on my way home last week after a few days on the road for the gig that pays the bills. To set the stage let’s back up a few hours. After a wild night on 6th street in Austin, TX compliments of the old expense account, I arrive at the airport extremely hung-over to check in. Wouldn’t ya know it, my fine friends at Don’t Expect Luggage To Arrive have upgraded me to First Class all the way home. Before I was able to get my IPOD fired up, I had already tossed back a screwdriver. I guess my overtly gay flight attendant had some ulterior motives as he kept em coming. You know you are doing pretty well when the flight attendant says Sir, you drank all the vodka on this flight. By the time this bad news was shared with me, I had had my share of OJ at that point so I was happy to move onto the King of Beers.

I step off the plane and begin my journey home to MBH and the Million Dollar babies. Who do I see coming the other way? None other than Mr. Raymond Bourque. Now I have met / seen him up close about 20 times in my life at various events. Without skipping a beat or slurring my speech, I reach back to Miss. Fairbrothers 9th and 10th grade French class (oh how I wanted her in every evil way) and bust out Bonjour Raymond.Ca Va? His response – Bonjour, Ca Va Bien! and that was it. My brush with greatness was quick and yet gave me the chills like you would not believe.

It got me thinking, when a superior athlete retires why does the next generation have to live up to them? I loved watching Bourque, Neely, Lafluer, 99, Mario, etcbut that doesn’t mean I want the next guy stepping into those skates to duplicate what his predecessor did. Of course I would love to have them possess similar characteristics but give the kids a break. Take Sid the Kid for instance. He’s got all the yackers making comments about comparing him to 99. Are you fuckin kidding me? 99? The greatest hockey player evah? That’s like my boss comparing me to Zig Ziglar. Each generation provides us with a handful of highly skilled and exceptionally talented players. Why don’t we just sit back and enjoy it vs. (no not the fuckin channel that nobody can find to watch hockey) yakking about how so and so was great and this kid ain’t no so and so!

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Bruins Suck. But Great Wings.


in Chris

I sold a couple of Tees tonight. One to Kara, and another to Michelle. We may have our first contestant in the Goonblog Thong Contest. Or perhaps a restraining order. Michelle agreed to pose in her new small with her best thong. Stay tuned boys!

I watched the Bruins slaughter eating Buffalo wings, no coincidence, at the Texas BBQ in Northborough. Not a lot to say abut the game really. The Bruins suck. Alberts is a tough fucking customer though eh? If you are in the Northborough area, swing by and say hi to Dave, and Don. They’ll set you right up. I am watching the late games waiting for MOL to return from the germ factory. I owe her from last night, so stay tuned.

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State of the NHL


in Gary Bettman

Ever since I asked MOL to marry me, she has pretty much had control of my notebook. Planning this, and looking up that in preparation for our wedding in September. Well, while watching the beloved Bruins get killed again, I challenged her for the notebook. We sized each other up in the living room. She started in hard with some overhand rights. I countered with some quick jabs, as I tried to get my footing. As I got a fist of Jersey, we both got square and really started throwing them. I would say we both threw and landed 15 punches each. I mean, think Peat/Stock part III. Finally we got tired, and she gave me the notebook. I call it a draw. We’ll go again. For those of you reading this in horror. I asked nicely. She gave it to me. Let’s get to the point shall we?

The State of the NHL. It looks pretty bleak to me right now. The TV deal is terrible. Case in point. The ratings for this year’s All Star Game were down 76% from ’04. No one knew it was on first of all, and if they did want to watch it, they may or may not get the channel. The new Jerseys next season are going to alienate an already pissed off fan base. I read the Hockey News. Good thing I read it in the shitter, as a lot of it makes me want to poop myself. In fact, I have renamed it the You’ve got to be Shitting me Times. Two issues get a lot of ink in the YGTBSMT.

Goals are down almost two goals from last season. Listen, I don’t want to see a 6-5 shootout every night. I like a hard fought game. The boys have figured out how to play in the new rules, and coaches have learned to coach in the new rules. It wouldn’t be a bad thing if there were more up and down hard hitting 2-1 games out there. You know, Old Time Hockey. YGTBSMT says there is a correlation between the drop in attendance, and the 1.6 less goals per game than last year. I don’t see it that way. Look, the honeymoon is over. People came back in droves last year because they missed the game. I think they are staying away in droves this year because the new NHL as it turns out isn’t all that interesting. People would rather have the ability to switch channels during a 7-6 parade to the penalty box new NHL game as opposed to paying a hundo for a decent seat, $25.00 to park, and whatever else to eat and drink.

The other issue in the NHL the YGTBSMT is the rise in head shots, and hard checks in open ice. So, let me get this straight. Guys aren’t allowed to hold anyone up coming out of the zone anymore, and there is virtually no hitting along the boards in the No Hitting League. So when guys get a head of steam coming out with their heads down, or looking back for a pass they get creamed by hard hitting defensemen there is an outcry against this sort of behavior? This is a violent game played by violent men correct? What did they think was going to happen when they took the physical slow up style out? Guys getting creamed never learned to play with their heads up. Ask Eric Lindros. He never had to learn to play with his head up because he was always so much bigger than everyone else. The kids playing now have played the North American style for a long time. To change to a more European style with the speed and less stick fouls is a big adjustment to a lot of these guys. I think the big hitters in the league like Dion Phaneuf should be allowed to play their game as much as the next guy. Hey, keep your head up.

Something needs to be done about Gary Bettman. This guy is systematically ruining the greatest game on Earth. Look around the NHL, AHL, ECHL and any other hockey league in the world. Who is always the fan favorite? That’s right, the goons, thugs, and enforcers. PJ Stock is a God in Boston, and he hasn’t played here in 4 years for Christ’s sake. I understand the guys that draw the advertising dollars are the skilled players, but by forcing fighting and rough hockey out of the game, he is inadvertently forcing out some of the games most popular players with the people that really count: The Fans. Hockey fans, these are very dark times. Hopefully we look on these times as a bump in the road on hockey’s return to a once very proud game, and not the beginning of the end of a game appeared destined for obliteration.

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A Killer Intro


in GoonSquad, Killer

The nervous energy I have is comparable to getting the call from the Big Club finally telling you to pack your bags and leave the AHL for good as I have been called upon to join the ranks of the GoonSquad. Who am I? Why am I here? No, I’m not that donkey (James Bond Stockdale) Ross Perot asked to be his VP back in the 1992 Presidential race. I’ve been a fan of hockey for over 30 years. Played with and against guys who have been in the show, are in the show (not many of them left these days) and plenty that would give their left nut just for one shift. I still chase the dream every Monday night and you know what? I fuckin love this game even if Gary Bettman has ruined it with his piss poor leadership and decision making abilities. I’ll save that rant for another day.more about me.

I am married with 2 boys; we’ll call them my Million Dollar babies. The oldest already has a pretty mean slapshot. I need to make friends with the local glass company as I see many a broken window in my future. I wonder when my Million Dollar babies grow up if they will get more ink in the sports pages or the police blotters. MBH thinks we are going for # 3 but little does she know I have an appointment with Dr. Snip Snip and this kids days of slipping one by the goalie are over, unless Hannu Top Shelf Toivonen is the goalie because we all know anybody can score on him.

I’m not loaded like Chris and can’t afford the NHL Package so my exposure to the game is via B’s telecasts or the occasional national tilt on come on say it with meVERSUS. Who the fuck was the jackass who came up with that name? Can you imagine the suits sitting around a table looking each other in the eyes and saying yeah that name works, I really like it, let’s go with it. I miss the days of ESPN covering the league but I guess beggars can’t be choosers since post lock-out the ratings have been brutal.

Enough about me.Let’s hope the second half of the season has a few more throw downs we can talk about.

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Our GoonBlog Girl is all Growed up!


in GoonSquad

Our very own lovely, talented and mouth-watering GoonBlog Girl wanted her own MySpace page. Who were we to say no? Especially after we already got her a pony, a car and her own phone line. Be gentle with her guys – any inappropriate activity and we’ll skate over and fuckin’ tune ya.

Hockey Girl

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