When Evander Kane is of age, he never buys a beer in Boston, after the courageous act against the one they call Matt Cooke over the weekend. Cooke‘s a real tough guy going after Kane eh? First NHL fight and he knocks a guy right out. Good for you Evander, beer is on me.
Best DeNiro Voice: I heard Things
For those of you that have been following Goonblog for a while now, you know I follow hockey pretty closely. That is to say, I am slightly obsessed with it. OK, fine, it’s my reason for being. Having said that, there are two teams I follow with closer attention than others. The Boston Bruins in the NHL, and the AHL Lowell Devils. I haven’t followed the Devils as much in the last couple of years because I hate the Devils, and they seemed to have sucked the fun out of the Tsongas Center in a manner that would make most porn stars proud.
In the American League the theme song should be Roadhouse Blues by the Doors as a lot of the teams have a future uncertain, and the end is always near. In Lowell, things are no different. Depending on what you read, the Devils are either re-re-locating to Albany after being offered an alleged 10 year lease, or they are staying in Lowell provided they can work out a lease in which the arena doesn’t subsidize the Devils’ existence there. I heard a very interesting third option last weekend that makes no sense in the world, but makes all the sense at the same time.
From what I heard, and I can’t reveal sources here, was the possible relocation of the Providence Bruins to Lowell. My first reaction was probably very similar to what you are thinking now gentle reader, no fucking way. The Dunkin Donuts center has just been remodeled (nicely I might add. Although the seats are too narrow. Picture the wooden seats at Fenway. Yeah, that narrow) and the P Bruins owner just signed an 8 year lease with the Dunk in 2008. By my math, that isn’t up for another.carry the 2.divide for Pi..6 years. So, there are a couple of reasons why it wouldn’t make any sense.
Now, onto why it might make sense, or at least give me food for thought on why it might. From what I heard, Mr. Renfroe (P Bruins owner) wasn’t happy with the way the building got a face lift, and apparently none of the team facilities, you know, locker rooms and the like, are still old and antiquated. I understand Marty Meehan, former Massachusetts Representative, current UMass Lowell President, and seemingly the cruise director as well, has given Mr. Renfroe three guided tours of the Tsongas, and I can’t help but think Mr. Renfroe would like what he saw from a facility standpoint. I have been in the home dressing room, and it is modern and spacious. The ice is the best in the league according to several players I have talked to about the building in Lowell, and I would have to imagine it would cost much less money to operate the Tsongas than it would the Dunk in Providence.
I think one of the reasons AHL hockey hasn’t worked in Lowell from an attendance standpoint, has been the affiliate. One needs look no further than across the street as an excellent example. Do you think the Lowell Spinners would sell out every game if they were the proud Single A affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers, as opposed to the Boston Red Sox? Not on your life. The only time the Devils draw more than flies, is when Providence is in town. It might also make sense for the parent Boston Bruins, as the time from when a call up is called, to when he arrives in Boston is cut in half. Also, the Bruins could make a case to practice both the NHL Club, and AHL club out of the Tsongas making game day callus even easier.
When you stop and think of it, there are a myriad of reasons why it might work to have the Bruins in Lowell, and another dozen on why it wouldn’t. I am sure Mr. Renfroe is a very shrewd business man, and has an out clause in Providence. I also know he has several other hockey interests. Perhaps he wants to own an ECHL team and have them play there. Maybe a new Junior team? Then there are all his youth hockey dealings. Maybe he wants to have a huge tournament there or something, or maybe, and this is the one I believe, he was in the building because Providence was in town, and someone told someone, and they told someone, and the next thing you know, there is a giant game of telephone happening. My gut tells me the Devils are going back to Albany, and the end of hockey at the AHL level in Lowell is near. Let it roll, baby, roll. Oh yeah, purple monkey underpants.
Not Blaming the Bruins
For those of you not in the Boston or Pittsburgh area, or may have been off planet under a rock with your fingers in your ears and your eyes shut, the big rematch between the Penguins and the Bruins happened on Thursday. I am thankful it is over, as I can stop listening to dipshit sports radio hosts that know zero about hockey spouting off about running Crosby, and brawling with anyone and everyone in a Pittsburgh uniform. Along those lines, I’d like to apologize to the Pittsburgh sports radio guy that Mike Felger called on Thursday afternoon. The Pittsburgh guy handled himself well. Mike Felger on the other hand, was embarrassing to the level it made me wish humans ate their young. Thankfully the calls from every season ticket holder (allegedly) claiming if they don’t do anything they aren’t renewing have stopped. For this week anyway. So, I am a season ticket holder, and I already renewed. Why? Because I love the Boston Bruins, and hockey, and I am not turning my back on my favorite team because they are having a bad, no check that, mind bendingly bad, a monumentally frustrating season. A season so dreadful, that even sports radio is getting involved.
Typical Boston. If I may slander my own environment, we used to be the lovable losers. 86 years of futility for the Red Sox. The Patriots SUCKED for most of their existence. 5 Titles between them since 2001, and suddenly, no one can have a bad year. Sure the Bruins were supposed to be much better this season. After the year they had last year, I thought they were going to make a very serious run at the cup this year. It hasn’t happened for several reasons.
1. They faced almost zero adversity last year. With the exception of Marco Sturm being hurt all season (oh and as an aside, he’s not hurt this year. Didn’t hear his name ONCE Thursday. Invisible most of the year) they had the same group of guys, and they were firing on all cylinders all year.
2. The players that have played have not played to their potential. I’ll start with the award winners.
a. Zdeno Chara: 2009 Norris Trophy Winner. Chara is at his worst when he is forced to play too many minutes. Due to the fact Dennis Wideman’s game has totally gone to shit, Ference has been hurt, Morris sucked, Hunwick has regressed slightly, and Johnny Boychuk is a rookie, it has forced Chara to play more minutes than he should. Couple that with the dislocated finger he’s had all year, and he has been ineffective all year.
b. Tim Thomas: 2009 Vezina Winner: He has zero goal support, but has also given up a ton of really soft goals at the most inopportune times. I am not 100% sure what he’s thinking of, but it sure isn’t hockey.
c. Milan Lucic: Hurt. All year. Ineffective when he can’t crash and bang.
d. Michael Ryder: You know that Cindy Lauper song, True Colors? Well, that’s Ryder’s theme song. Wanted to overachieve last year to show people in Montreal they made a mistake in benching him, and not resigning him. This year, true colors shining through. Stuck on the perimeter seemingly very bored.
e. David Krecji: Coming on a little now, but needs to come on faster.
f. Marco Sturm: Favorite show is Where in the World is Carmen San Diego. Favorite book? Where’s Waldo. Favorite movie? Memoirs of an Invisible Man. For most of the year, he’s been totally invisible.
g. Dennis Wideman: Sucks.
h. Blake Wheeler: Totally surprised by the fact he has 15 goals this year.
I could go on and on. I think you get the point. I think Mark Recchi, Patrice Bergeron, and Shawn Thornton are the only three Bruins that have played to their potential all season. Can’t have that and be successful.
Bottom line why they haven’t played well all year? They just don’t like each other. Plain and simple. Shawn Thornton went out and did his job Thursday by fighting Matt Cooke. I like how Cooke knew he had to do it, and did what had to be done. I would have preferred he take his helmet off, but 22 took care of it, and took care of him with a very nice hard right hand. I have no problem with him getting the extra 10 for continuing to throw after Cooke was down. He broke the code, but Cooke had to pay. This is where the nitwits that spent the whole week frothing at the mouth get lost. It’s over and done with after Thornton fights Cooke. This isn’t the 70’s anymore. No Bench clearing brawls. No stick swinging. Thornton did his job well, and Cooke answered the bell. Over. Done. Play some hockey.
Here’s where it gets interesting. Boston played very well in the first. They hit a couple of posts, and they had the fight. The tempo was upbeat, and they were hitting. Usually when the Bruins play like that, it is their blueprint for success. They gave up a goal and were down 1-0 going into the first break. Does a team that likes each other come out and play the way the Bruins did in the second period the other night? Not on your life. Someone in that room probably said in a non believable tone, C’mon guys, let’s get one here..inset cliché here.. If they liked each other, nothing would need to be said. It would be known. There is no fucking way we are losing this game tonight, and if we do lose, it will not be without a fight. Instead, the Bruins came out with zero urgency, and lost a really shitty game.
So, it’s over and done with. Boston is left with 15 or so games on the schedule. I am guessing they will make the playoffs, and probably lose in the first round. I would love to see them go farther if only to hear the same nitwits that gave up on this team a long time ago come back out of the woodwork to claim they never gave up and so forth, but I just don’t see it happening. My guess is, they will lose in the first round, spend the summer making some moves to improve the club. Give Claude about 20 games next year to see if the problem is him (which I don’t think it is. You can’t coach chemistry) and if they get off to a slow start axe him. For a season that started with so much promise, it sure hasn’t been much fun.
Gillies vs. Orr I
It is with the nerves of an expectant father that I am watching the clock today. MOL has been given the television until 5, and she is welcome to stay and watch as the Islanders and Maple Leafs square off. I think if Trevor Gillies does dress today, there is no way he and Colton Orr don’t have a dust up. It would be like leaving a case of Funny Bones, and a stack of fight tapes under my watch. The tapes are getting watched, and you are going to be light a few Chocó and peanut butter treats. The AHL did a nice piece on the Gill-Man here. Hopefully his second NHL tilt goes better than his first, but Orr is the Heavyweight Champ right now, so it could really go either way. I will report what happens here, so stay tuned!
Well, despite Trevor asking twice, there was no fight. Great assist by the Gill Man on the Isle’s first goal. Well done. I will be taping the game Tuesday. Hopefully Hordichuk is game.
Good News. A Headshot Rule….Next Year.
One of Goonblog’s biggest fans called me last night, and made an excellent point. To paraphrase, and cut out the profanity, Taz brought up the notion that the NHL GM’s shouldn’t need to come up with a new rule regarding head shots after the Matt Cooke pasting of Marc Savard, they simply need to get the on ice referees to call what they see properly. Cooke’s hit, in my opinion, could have/should have been called for an elbow, with intent to injure tagged on there for good measure. Cooke will not be suspended by the league, and the GM’s now apparently have a headshot rule in place for next season. Well, LA-DE-FRICKIN-DA! What a golden opportunity they squandered to make an example out of something that was clearly the type of hit they are talking about making illegal..next year. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. This is the same league that has a stupid fighting in the last five minutes rule that is only enforced when it’s not Wayne Gretzky sending his guy out, or Gino Malkin doing the dirty work.
Listen, I don’t want to be a homer on this, and to prove it, I will say there is equally no place in the NHL for the hit Michael Ryder administered on Saturday on the Island. We all know I am a big Bruins fan, but the hit Cooke put on Savard Sunday was dirty and totally uncalled for. I am all for finishing a check, but when a guy is prone like Savard was, there is no need to hit him like that. It speaks to a lack of respect the players have for one another these days, and it also speaks to the evolution of body checking as a whole.
Body checking used to be a tactic to separate a person form the puck, but now I think it is a predatory thing where players are trying to smash each other when they are vulnerable. I have zero problems with a guy crushing someone with their head down coming out of the zone, but I do take issue with a guy crushing another guy after he’s released a shot, and is prone. It isn’t what body checking is about, and is dangerous.
As far a as lack of response from the Bruins is concerned, I don’t think anyone saw it. I should hope Lucic didn’t, as he was on the ice when it happened, and seemed to go over to Cooke only after he saw Ryder racing in. I would hope the 4th lines would start next Thursday night, and the boys will settle it off the opening faceoff, but who can be sure these days? Either way, I am disappointed in the league for not suspending Cooke, and wish Marc Savard a speedy recovery.
Scumbag
You cock sucking Scumbag. You run around the ice with your fucking half shield on tossing elbows at players’ heads like Pee Wee Herman tosses off in a movie theater. You are the epitome of a coward. How big of a man do you feel like tonight? At least Savvy’s head hurts tonight cause we know your pussy is swollen like you’ve had 5 old school wooden Gretzky Titans rammed up there in a gang bang. You stand around on the ice after the play like you give a fuck. The only thing you give a fuck about is your paycheck and that you never run out of peanut butter cause your schnauzer has a Gene Simmons like tongue to please you with when you get home.
Good for Ryder for even attempting to snap your bra strap. You are lucky Lucic didn’t see the play or I’m certain he would have put on a high quality beat down on you even with his broken nose thanks to the toughest SOB in the game. You delivered your cheap shot with just over 5 minutes to play and yet your woosie ass never stepped back on the ice. The thing that blows is that the NHL will review the tape tonight and tomorrow and will levy a fine and suspension on you that will keep you out of action when the B’s and Penguins play again on March 18th in Boston. I have tickets to that game and it would be an honor to watch you get your ass handed to you by everyone wearing Black & Gold that night, including Rochelle in section 323. Colin Campbell should force you to play in that game as part of your punishment.
Patrice was bullshit and rightfully so, poor prick missed almost a full season due to a major concussion thanks to that prick from Philly. I’m not putting in names tonight just so those fuckers can’t Google themselves and read this. As much as I want to grow GoonBlog’s readership, I’d rather wallow in oblivion than have them read me. Crosby did his best acting job speaking with Patrice on the ice but we all know he would run over his mother with the Zamboni if it guaranteed him the scoring title over Ovechkin.
Get well Savvy and keep your fucking head up # 24.
Real Hockey is Back
Congratulations Canada, you barely beat America at the game you invented. No, I kid. I saw that on the site, Texts from Last Night. Go there for hilarity. For hockey hilarity, you stay here. Now then, Canada won gold last Sunday in a game I saw maybe 20 seconds of due to a prior engagement. I will say I enjoyed the tournament, as the hockey was up and down in every game, and who will forget Pavol Demitra hitting the cross bar with about 22 seconds left against Canada Friday night? That goes in, and it easily could have been USA and Slovakia for gold in Vancouver.
Naturally, after a game like the gold medal game, the talk turns to will this help the NHL, or not? From my seat in the stands, I prefer NHL hockey over International play because a lot of the cheap shit that went on in the Olympics has to be answered for. I don’t care how inspirational Saku Koivu’s story is, he’s a dirty little fucker and the stick work he deployed during the Olympics would have been dealt with in the NHL. Same with Alexander Semin’s late hit on Dan Boyle. Shifty Euros get smaller and less brave with their sticks in the NHL, and that’s the game I like. Will the tournament help the NHL? Maybe short term. Long term reality of the situation is this. You are either a hockey fan or you aren’t. One exciting game, gold medal or otherwise, will not turn the tide of a niche sport.
Tonight should feature why I love the NHL so much, as the Battle of Ontario rivalry between Toronto, and Ottawa is on again. When we last left our heroes, Goonblog favorite, Matt Carkner, had been beaten soundly by another Goonblog favorite, Colton Orr. Look for these two to get after it again early in tonight’s contest.
I had the privilege of watching Orr soundly beat Boston’s Milan Lucic in person this week. Everyone in the building, including Don Cherry, was on Milan for giving up on the fight. Well, what we didn’t know was Orr had broken the big Serbians nose early in the fight, and when they got separated Lucic wanted no more part of sticking the already formidable beak back in there. I can’t say I blame him, as it is my opinion Colton Orr is the best in the business right now. Damn I wish he was still in the black and gold! Glad the NHL is back boys!
Ain’t no Lake Placid
I want to be very clear on one thing. I am in no way comparing what happened last night in Vancouver, to what happened 30 years ago today in Lake Placid from a social-big guy defeated by little guy-totally mind blowing once in a lifetime thing. Last night, a team of very good American NHLers, defeated a very good group of Canadian NHLers in one of the most thrilling hockey games I have ever witnessed. It was in no way a win of the magnitude of USA over USSR, despite the similarities.
These two games were similar in so much as in 1980 the United States had a goaltender that stood on his head (Jim Craig) and took advantage of their opportunities when they were presented. Last night Ryan Miller had the game of his life between the pipes for the United States, and when the US did get scoring chances, they capitalized on them. I feel Marty Brodeur was very underwhelming in goal for Canada last night, as Vladislav Tretiak was for the Soviets 30 years ago. While this was a big, huge win for the United States, I would rank it third behind Squaw Valley in 1960 and the Miracle on Ice in 1980.
Either way, was that some kind of hockey game last night or what?! Can we talk about the three breakaways they traded for a second? Oh my God. I thought for sure Doc was going to blow a gasket. Oh, and then the shooting gallery in the last 4 minutes? I even caught MOL secretly watching the third period last night! I am not sure how this tournament is going to wind up, but the United States certainly impressed the hell out of me last night. Do not count Canada out though. Even though they made their lives difficult by having to win four in a row, including having to go through the powerhouse Russian Club to win gold on home soil, they definitely have the squad to do so. Was last night the Miracle on Ice Part II? No, but it was one damn fine hockey game!
15 Questions With Matt Carkner of the Ottawa Senators
A GoonBlog.com Exclusive!
1. After turning Pro in 2001-02 with Cleveland, and having played in 2 NHL contests prior to this season, how do you keep yourself motivated to make the NHL? Hockey is my life and I have always been driven to compete at the highest level that I could. Playing in the NHL has always been my #1 goal and just being so close for so long gave me a little hope that it could happen. As I got further into my career, I felt that my shot may not come, but I wanted to be ready if it did.
2. Who in your opinion is the toughest guy in the NHL right now? You can say yourself. George Laraque is probably one of the toughest, I haven’t fought him yet, but I’m sure I will get the chance. I’d probably say that Colton Orr is up there as well, I did fight him and he comes at you hard.
3. Is Jeremy Yablonski a former teammate you were glad to have on your side? Definitely, he is a tough player. He always brings energy to the games and I don’t think there are too many guys who really like to fight him.
4. Which did you enjoy more, your first NHL scrap, or first NHL goal? I think the goal was more enjoyable mainly because it was in my home town and it was the first time I ever played in the NHL at the Scotiabank Place. All of my family was there and I also got the first star. So, it was a pretty big night. I also had an assist that night, but I couldn’t get Jackman to fight me for the Gordie Howe. Ha ha, I guess I’ll have to do that some other time.
5. What are the biggest differences between the AHL and NHL? The structure of the game is a lot better. Sometimes in the minors players will totally get out of position and for a defenseman trying to break the puck out, it’s sometimes hard to do when you don’t know where your forwards are going to be. Also everyone is more skilled, faster, bigger, and smarter. It’s definitely a big step up.
6. How many times have you seen SlapShot? Too many.
7. Which tough guys in the NHL chirp the most? I don’t know if it’s necessarily the tough guys that do most of the chirping.
8. Do you keep track of your fight card? No, but I usually remember who I fight.
9. When you look ahead on the schedule, are there certain games you just know you’ll have to drop the gloves? Does it make your game day preparation any different? Some times you know for sure, but then other times you think you are going to have to, but it never happens. Everyone is on different pages and sometimes guys are banged up and don’t really want to go. So, I just prepare to play the game and am always ready to drop the gloves.
10. If you have time to think about fighting (IE, after a goal off a faceoff when you’ve talked about it with the other guy) what are you thinking as the puck drops? Is it the same if you drop them during heat of the game type scrap? I just see what kind of stance he’s in and try to find a way to get an advantage. Every fight is different and it’s a lot of read and react.
11. Can you hear the crowd during the game, or is it just the game action? Not really. I do hear when they get real loud, but I’m focused mostly on the game and communicating with my teammates.
12. Do you ever decline a fight (not the right time, hand a little tender) but inside you just want to pound the crap out of someone? Ya, it happens. You either get told by the coaches not too, or your banged up. Sometimes I’ll be at the end of a shift and you don’t want to give your opponent a big advantage.
13. If you are on the way to the rink and someone cuts you off in traffic, is it nice to know you have a job where you can slam someone into the glass to channel some frustrations? It’s always good to let the frustrations out.
14. What would Goonblog readers be surprised to know about Matt Carkner? That I prefer the Cove Country Inn as opposed to Morton’s Steakhouse.
15. Do you think The Ref has the biggest head you’ve ever seen, or is it just me? Huge head.
Thanks for taking the time to talk with us, Carkinator. Here’s to a continued great first year in the show! Matt Carkner Stats at HockeyFights.com.
Win Some, Lose Some Part Deux
See what I mean? Win some, lose some.