I subscribe to the theory you never wear another man’s uniform, which is one reason why I don’t buy or wear team jerseys. One exception is my Syracuse Bulldogs sweater. Its part of a Halloween costume the year I went as Oglethorpe. I wore the jersey, and a giant afro wig. For about 15 minutes. Anyhow, having said that, the Carolina Hurricanes unveiled their third jersey today, and I gotta say its pretty fucking sweet. I might consider lifting my ban on wearing and buying another man’s uniform. I love the hockey stick flag pole, and how the emblem looks like its being blown by Hurricane force winds. Kudos to the all black deign too. Really sharp. Did you know the only other teams in the NHL to never have donned a third Jersey? New Jersey (obviously. That would be fun and God forbid Lou have any fun) and the Detroit Red Wings. It’s true. You can look it up. I think Boston was going to do another third this year. I saw a design of it on TV and it looked pretty snazzy too. Still, Carolina really captured the spirit of the thing here. Tell you guys what. Trevor Gillies makes the big club; I will get a third jersey with his number on it. I swear, I’m not mental.
Chris
Wanted: New Liver
I am back from my weekend vacation in Portland, ON, and I need a vacation from my vacation. I’m pretty sure my liver is still in the Winchester Arms quivering like a little girl in the corner. My eyes are as dry as can be from being around animals I am allergic to for 4 days, and my bum still hurts from the border crossing on the way into Canada. All in all, I would rate it the best weekend ever!
It all started with me waking up at 4:45 Thursday to get to the airport on time for an International flight. Everyone I spoke to was advising me to be at Logan at least 2 hours early, and having never taken an International flight before, I believed them. Well, thanks for nothing! I walked right in, got my bag checked, walked through security, and was sitting at my gate waiting for my flight by myself a full 2 hours and 30 minutes before the mother fucker took off. I guess I don’t look suspicious. After all, who is going to stop a fat kid wearing a Goonblog T-shirt listening to a pink iPod, and carrying two copies of The Hockey News? My point exactly.
Now, arriving in Ottawa was a bit different. After sitting on the tarmac in Boston for some bullshit, we got airborne, and made the 49 minute trek to the Great White North. As an aside, this seems like a good time to mention this. Almost $600.00 bucks is a little excessive for a 49 minute flight no? Janet says it’s more now too. Yet, I digress. Dave was very specific in the instructions I was to give the Customs Agent upon my arrival..I’m visiting a friend I went to High School withhis address isI will be here for 5 days.I am not going to a Farm.Well, evidently, the Canadians think I look guilty, because these guys grilled me like I was a steak. First I talked with the guy in the booth and he didn’t like what I was selling, so he sent me into the Immigration Office. That guy was very concerned about why the sudden urge to go to Canada and so forth. He was asking me a series of questions about my Passport, and had I ever been to Canada and so forth.Why now? What are you guys going to do? After assuring the man I had no other intentions of drinking beer, going for a boat ride, and possibly eating enough Poutine to kill a miniature horse near Dave’s place, I was allowed to proceed.
Dave picked me up, and after a slight delay in getting a digital camera at Best Buy. We were well on our way to Portland. If you’ve never been to Ontario, it looks a lot like Central Indiana. If you’ve never been to Central Indiana, I will describe. Lots of corn fields, and very flat terrain. Very pretty countryside. Dave and I spoke of the plans on the hour and a half drive, and my suspicions were confirmed. We were in for a gasser. Thursday was dinner at the Foley, Jazz night at the cove, and drinks at Ducks. Friday was some plan with Gooch and his peeps, Saturday was Better than Christmas Bundy Fest at the Westport Arena, and Sunday was Sunday Funday at the Galley. As he was describing this, I am 99% sure the scream from my liver was audible above Dave’s iPod.
Thursday started at the Foley House where I made a tactical error by ordering wings. The locals both got tenders and fries, but this kid had to go off the reservation and get wings. In the States when you say medium wings, you get medium hot wings. In Ontario, that means you get Wing Dings with a semi spicy barbeque sauce all over them. Live and learn eh? So, after a couple of beers and crappy wings at the Foley, we headed around the corner for Jazz night at the Cove. We met young Spencer there, and to say this guy is a character is an understatement. Picture a young Jack Nicholson when he goes fucking nuts in the Shining, and you’ve got Spencer. Super nice guy, just a little touched upstairs. We also met Amy, and Christa (I think that’s how you spell) and they were all over me because Loonies (a dollar, which looks like a messed up stop sign) and Toonies (2 dollar coin that looks like something you’d redeem at a go kart track for 8 laps of fun) were freaking me out. In between Janet serving me (soup for one?) and my jokes about knocking out the center of a bunch of Toonies to make a shower curtain, we managed to put a sizeable dent in their Molson Canadian stock. We weren’t done yet, as it was on to Ducks Roadhouse from Jazz night.
Ducks can best be described as a trailer on the side of a road that someone fixed up and made a sweet little bar out of. It has a jukebox (no Rush?! What’s the deal with that eh?) And a kickass pool table. Plus enough 19-24 year old girls to shake a stick at. When I die, I hope heaven is just like this place. Ducks featured a sweet fried appetizer platter, more Canadian, even more serving, and some of the best bar pictures and videos ever. My first night in Canada could not have gone any better. At the end of the night, we said goodnight, and we’d meet Saturday for Bundy Slam!
Friday could not have been less productive. I got up at 1:15, followed by Dave at 3:15. By the time Dave stumbled awake, I had eaten, and had three beers. I was leveling off, and he was not well. We got a couple of drinks in him, and he bounced right back though. I was impressed actually. Gooch and the gang arrived at 5, or 6? I can’t remember. Too many beers ago. Anyway, it was Gooch, Amy, Jen and Carrie. We enjoyed some burgers, Muddy Mud Skippers, and a rousing game of Cranium. These guys cheated at Cranium though because it was the Canadian version. No I don’t know the time difference between Newfoundland, and Moose Jaw! Also, we learned a synonym for Iron. Smoovie. Great story from Amy, I really can’t do it justice here. You’ll have to trust me.
Saturday I think I was up at 11:30, and had some poutine and 2 beers in me by 12:30. We boated over to the Galley and sat on the deck enjoying the sunshine. Gooch and the gang had to peace out for a tour of the Army Base in Kingston, so Dave, Janet and I were left on our own until Bundy Slam! What we did with that time was watch movies, nap, and have a few beers. Spencer and Todd (wow) dropped by for a couple of beer in the afternoon. Todd was a little primed up for Bundy Slam, as he was having a hard time figuring out the Best of Chris Farley video Dave and I were watching. Todd, it’s the same guy. Not sure he’s invited back.
While Dave was napping after Spencer and Todd left, Janet made dinner, and I helped. That is to say, I drank beer in the kitchen and watched. We needed a good base of food because it was Bundy Slam 2008! Apparently this Bundy guy rents out the Westport Arena every year, has a huge party with a bunch of bands, and all the money goes to the Westport Jr. B team, the Westport Rideaus. I am thinking very seriously about making Bundy Slam an annual event. To quote the kid at the Galley we saw in the afternoon, Maaaaan..it’s better than Christmas! Agreed!
They pack this arena with a shit load of kids, charge 20 bucks a whack to get in, 6 beers for 20 bucks, and party like the sun will not rise the next day. Not sure what it is about Canadian women, but it looked like a hot young girl bomb went off in that arena, and there was shrapnel everywhere. I was on the outside looking in as I am happily married, and I was older than most of the girls in there by at least 5 years. We looked a little out of place, but who cares? We had a blast and the bands weren’t too bad either.
Sunday Funday started with a lovely dip in the lake and some fetch with the puppies, and ended with me on the pullout downstairs pondering my life. In between we had some girly drinks, more poutine, a wicked dance party, and some serious fun. The Galley was our destination for poutine and girly drinks, the dance party was on the boat, and the fun was all around. My hosts were gracious and accommodating, and I met some new friends as well. All in all, I couldn’t have asked for a better experience in Ontario, and I will be back for Bundy Slam ’09. Hopefully sooner.
P.S. No podcast. I know I promised, but we were without internet and sobriety for the whole weekend. The internet went out courtesy of a lightning strike..the sobriety was just documented here. Dave will be down in September. We’ll do one then.
Taking off, to the Great White North
I just printed off my boarding pass for tomorrow’s 9 AM flight to the Great White North. I’m looking forward to doing some boating, boozing, a Podcast, and general relaxing. I’ve never been to a part of Canada that wasn’t a city, and I’m looking forward to it immensely. I hope Dave has properly disinfected the house, as well as warned the neighbors as to my arrival. I’m reminded of Animal House. Just keep your hands and feet away from his mouth, and you’ll be fine. I will miss the release of the AHL schedule tomorrow, but who cares? I can tell you this. My team, The Lowell Devils, is going to play the same 10 teams over and over, and do it in a boring style. Big whoop. If I had anything better to do, they’d be short one more fan. Sadly, I really don’t. Great weekend everyone. I will have a full recap upon my return.
Take Off! To the Great White North!
Dangerous combo here boys. It’s a thousand. MOL is off at the Germ Factory leaving me unsupervised with at least a dozen of the Workingman’s Brew in the fridge. I just booked my ticket to hang with Dave at the beginning of August (we PROMISE a Podcast) and the NHL schedule came out today. You guys think I’m in a good mood? Hold on.
Walking down hall..
Turning left into kitchen.
Opening fridge..
They call me the Working Manopen, and sip..AHHHHHHHH
Much better! Now then, here are some highlights of the Bruins Schedule. Before that, a tribute to my trip to the Great White North!
October 9th at Colorado. It’s back, its back, thank God it’s back! Boston opens their season on the road, per usual. Stupid circus.
October 15th at Montreal. The Habs open their 100th season in style against their hated rivals. Goosebumps thinking about it.
October 20th vs. Penguins. My first game as a season ticket holder. MOL is my usual date for opening night, so they may not see me in full plumage until..
October 23rd vs. Toronto. Yup. Could be my last game as a season ticket holder.
November 13th vs. Montreal. First game for the Habs in Boston. Hopefully bad blood from October is still fresh.
November 28th vs. Islanders. Love the day after Thanksgiving game. Two years ago Kinger and I went, got wasted, and came home with a Hanson Brothers picture I bought for $150.00. Good times.
December 8th vs. Tampa Bay. I think these guys are going to be scrappy as hell under Barry Melrose. I’m also excited to see Steven Stamkos for the first time.
January 1st. Chicago vs. Detroit. I really want to go to Wrigley for this! If not, I guess I’ll watch on TV before going to the Bruins and Penguins.
January 19th vs. St. Louis. Hopefully Cam Janssen goes nuts.
February 7th vs. Flyers. I hate them.
March 7th vs. Blackhawks. Annual game I take my brother to against my other favorite Original Six Team?! I love it.
April 9th vs. Montreal. Hopefully there is some real bad blood here going into the playoffs!
Does anyone know how to build a time machine? I swear I won’t mess anything up. I won’t kill Hill Valley, I swear. We’re just going ahead a few monthsno big whoop..
Time Stands Still
I’m sitting at my desk today around three, and I’m thinking I need some food. What to do? What to do? I’m trying to not be on the see food diet anymore, so I have a choice of pistachios, apricots, or some grapes. Grapes involve standing up, so that’s right out. Now it’s down to pistachios or apricots, when it hits me. I need a Tsongas Arena burger. As soon as I thought it, I could smell it, and taste it. Visually I could see the ketchup oozing out the side. A quick look to my calendar confirmed it, its mid July. DAMMIT! What makes this fantasy even stranger is that the Paul has the worst rink food ever. Seriously, one thing the Lowell Devils are lacking, other than fans in general, is good food. The burgers are the most edible thing. Taz will attest to this. Think high school hamburger. Kind of grayish, not really hot all the way throughoh man, I’m getting aroused here again. It makes me think of hockey season all over again. Stupid baseball.
Speaking of hockey, I am pumped Montreal signed Georges Laraque, and Ryan Flinn. Man, if ever there was a reason to keep the current schedule format, this is it. When was the last time the Boston/Montreal rivalry featured two legitimate heavyweights? 90’s? Has to be right? This rivalry is more watered down than the cocktails MOL makes me when I’ve had one too many. These two guys will bring some big time toughness to the Habs roster, and I hope Milan Lucic, and Shawn Thornton is ready for them. I would hazard to guess Flinner will be down in Hamilton, but the brass will be glad he’s only a phone call away.
Part of the reason I was watching the Penguins over the last year and a half (OK, a big part) was to watch Georges Laraque. I was at the game this season when he fought Zdeno Chara twice. While both fights sucked (they actually were assessed only 1 fighting majors each for two dust ups. I know. Laughable) it was great to see him ask Jeremy Reich to go, and get turned down no fewer than 5 times. Lucic wanted no part of him either, and come to think of it, neither did Thornton. Maybe seeing the Habs 87 times in the regular season will fan some distaste for each other. Here’s hoping they have a nice 400 PIM game while I eat a crappy Garden dog in my Hungry for Hockey seats eh?
Who’s Hungry?
I am a Boston Bruins season ticket holder as of Monday afternoon. My buddy George and I were talking at game 3 of the Montreal series this season about how many games we’d been to throughout the season. It seemed to us that the games we had been to, the other was there as well, and the games one of us had missed, the other was there. We got to thinking; perhaps getting a season ticket package might be a more economical way to go. We did some math, and we estimate we were at 20-25 games last season, and it could have easily been more if not for a lack of tickets. Well, we talked it over and it did in fact seem like a good idea, but truth be told, good seats at the Garden are expensive, and I couldn’t justify paying that much money for the seats. In the end, I decided it wasn’t in my best interest.
All of that changed Monday when George presented me with the Hungry for Hockey promo the Bruins ran. The promo is Sections 327, and 328, rows 2-15. What you get is the ticket, all you can eat hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, and a bottomless cup of soda (probably remain un used) for $39.00 a game. George e-mailed me in a panic.Do we want to do this?! Seats are going fast! Well shit. $1700.00 for the season in pretty good, not great, but pretty good seats. Heck yes. Sign me up. So, if you want to meet George or myself, we’ll be in Section 328, Row 2, Seats 1 and 2.
I gotta say I’m pretty pumped. MOL was not pissed at all by me doing it, and George already said I could have opening night for me and MOL because he has to take all his kids. That’s a bonus. On top of that, I feel pretty good about the team this year. I love them getting Michael Ryder even if he did have a down year. The Bruins had no one to score other than the top line last year, and Ryder now helps that cause. Metropolit being gone might hurt the chemistry, and the Bruin mold, but that’s what you have Milan Lucic, Shawn Thornton, and Petteri Nokelainen. Those three will chip in points as well, especially Cheech. I like the forwards a lot with Marc Savard, Chuck Kobasew, Phil Kessel (if he doesn’t get dealt), Michael Ryder, a healthy Patrice Bergeron, and Marco Sturm. Plus the unknown of Blake Wheeler? That’s a very under rated signing, and could pay huge dividends for these guys. They got the toughness covered in Lucic, and Thornton. Defense is pretty good too. Hopefully Alberts can be healthy all year. I was hoping Mike Commodore was in their plans, but oh well. Obviously the question mark is in goal, but I think Timmy Thomas had a stellar year last season and can repeat this year. I’m telling you, watch out for this club, and while you’re at it, swing by Section 328 to say hi. Is it September yet?
Working Man
June gets a little busy for me. It’s the end of the second quarter at work, and it’s usually one of the busier times. See, I work in IT sales, and despite what you may hear on the news, there is not a recession on. As such, people with purchasing power want to get a lot of purchase done now, so the minions will have something to do and report back to him on when he returns from his week on the Cape for 4th of July. What I’m trying to say is June is tough. Plus, I work for a publicly traded company, so anyone that also works for a public company can relate as to being slaves to Wall Street. They say jump, we say how high. As such, there is extra pressure from the higher ups to stay late, and drive results and so on. I have not had much time to come home and write on this blog like I would like too, but with Rush’s Working Man playing, and me drinking a Working Man’s Brew, Miller High Life, I find myself hard at work on this blog once again. You can call me the working man. I guess that’s what I am.
I hope everyone’s having a great summer so far. I’ve been busy, but enjoying myself. I’ve been thinking about what I should write on Goonblog a lot lately. You see, I am inspired to write almost every day. Like for instance. Goonblog favorite, Tom Rowe was promoted to Assistant Coach in Carolina. I had an idea about a post congratulating him, as well as predicting he will be the head coach by the All Star break next season. Didn’t happen. Staying in Carolina, I’d get to their camp if you can. The Canes acquired Darcy Hordichuk, and re signed Trevor Gillies. The chances of those two NOT having a go in Camp are as good as me NOT sleeping with Jenny McCarthy . In other words, bet on it. Again. That post didn’t happen.
I’d say the biggest thing I wanted to post about, is the Boston Celtics. No, seriously. I have not lost my mind. There will be no name change to KGBlog, or whatever. In fact, I didn’t even get on the bandwagon. I mean, as a Bostonian, or Masshole in general, I am happy they won the title. Let’s put it this way, I’m glad they won the title. It really didn’t have enough bearing on my life to sway me from happy or sad. For me watching the Celtics accept their trophy in the Garden with streamers coming down around made me think, I wish that were the Bruins. For those of you scoring at home, here’s how they look in terms of last titles won for big four in Boston.
- Celtics 2008
- Red Sox 2007
- Patriots 2005
- Bruins 1972
As a diehard Bruins fan, that is a tough pill to swallow. In 1972, the team on the bottom of that list could have arguably been the most relevant in the town. Now? I am sure some people aren’t even aware there is still a pro hockey team in Boston. Watching the Celtics win the title made we want the Bruins to become relevant again in the worst way. I mean, could you imagine if the Bruins won it all? For me, I’d be gone. I would be off the reservation for at least a week. Here’s the thing. They are a couple of pieces away from being a very good hockey team, but I think ownership cares more about the Celtics going deep and reaping the rewards of concession stand sales, then actually shelling out their own money to have a team go deep in the playoffs. I think for us Bruins fans, the only time we will see the Black and Gold hoist Lord Stanley ‘s Cup, is when the DNC sells the team. I don’t know if I will be alive to see it.
Stupid Summer
To quote John Winger: And then, depression set in. After Screwy and I are done drying our eyes, and the last team member has retired to the dressing room to drink from Lord Stanley that’s when it’s real. I am stuck with stupid baseball until September. Oh and the Celtics are in the finals, which is cool I guess, but I really can’t stand basketball. My Celtics fan friends all want me to pick the Lakers in six, because I had the Penguins in six, so they like the reverse jinx angle. So, there you go. I’m predicting the Lakers in six. They are playing the Lakers right? This really sucks. I am glad I have the NHL Network because the AHL finals are still going. It looks like Chicago is going to handle Wilkes/Barre easily though, and then it’ll all really be over. MOL is happy. I am not.
Overall, I think this hockey season was a good one. I didn’t’ write enough here, and that will change next season. I took a new job at work in October, and that on top of buying the house, figuring out how to be a husband, and my love of being in a gin mill, killed my productivity here. For next season I promise more running diaries of the games, and I recently bought a microphone, so I am going to try a Podcast. I think I am turning into a nerd. So, like I said, the season wasn’t bad. The beloved Bruins surprised me. Milan Lucic is my favorite player EVAH, and Shawn Thornton really had some great bouts in the second half of the season. YouTube continues to be a favorite spot. I love the Gillies/Mirasty tilts out there. It was nice to see Gordie Dwyer on American soil for a little bit. I am telling you, there aren’t many guys as engaging and friendly as him. I’d like the AHL to pay more because Lowell could sure use a guy that can skate and hit like him. Oh, and the Devils? They suck. Bad. Plus they are boring. They could use a guy like Dwyer to add some personality. So that’s it for 07-08. I’m really into birding these days (no kidding) so I’ve got my feeder to keep me occupied. I need some more, and a good bird book to help me identify what I am looking at. So far at my feeder I have seen a squirrel, and a chipmunk. Mr. and Mrs. Cardinal, and a bunch of brown birds. Oh, and the fattest Blue Jay since Frank Thomas! HI OH! Congratulations to the Red Wings have a great summer all. I wish it was September.
Over!? Over!?
Imagine if you will, you are about to make love to a woman you’ve wanted your whole life. This is a woman so desirable you’ve had to fight off foe after foe to get with. It’s been a long process to be sure. As you’ve been trying to get her into bed, you’ve wined and dined her. Bought her a few drinks, asked her what she likes and dislike, really listened to what she had to say. As this was going on, several other men have tried to come and take this woman away from her, but your hard work, dedication, and persistence has really been paying off. After a few drinks and dinner you drive back to your place, and invite her in. Maybe you put on some soft music, pour yourselves a little night cap. You sit on the couch, and maybe you start with a little kiss. Then it proceeds from there, and you wind up in the bedroom. Remember, this is a woman you’ve wanted your whole life! Holy shit! This is ABOUT TO HAPPEN! Just as you guys get all your clothes off, and the heavy petting ends, and the final hurdle is about to fall, she passes out cold on you. You try to wake her up, but it’s no use. For almost three hours you try, but to no avail. Finally the door swings open, and it’s her husband. Guess what? He’s not exactly pleased with you, and doesn’t really mind doing a little time. They say things go black as the bullet hits the front of your skull. I am wondering if that’s how the Detroit Red Wings and their fans feel right now.
24 seconds. They were 24 seconds away from winning it all. I was so sure they were winning I had cleaned up the table, and had the remote in my hand when Max Talbot scored to tie the game at 3. I could not believe my eyes. Then the first OT came and went, and that was a furious a pace I have ever seen. Someone needs to get Mr. Fleury laid when this is all said and done because he saw more rubber than a Goodyear plant last night. After the second OT, I had to call it quits. It was 12:30, and I am neither from Detroit nor Pittsburgh. Plus, I have a job. I was amazed to see Petr Sykora scored the game winner because he tapped on the glass between the benches where NBC had Pierre Maguire reporting from, and told him he was getting the game winner. Apparently he also told the boys in the room he was getting it as well. Talk about calling your shot eh? Anyway, I like the Penguins to win the Cup. What a confidence boost this will be. I like them coming home for some home cooking, with zero pressure and playing loose. I see a big win for them tomorrow, and then they win the Cup on Detroit’s ice 3-2 in a nail biter. 24 secondsI can’t believe it.
Nomads? Not Good.
After the second game of my illustrious return from lying on the couch quietly watching TV, I feel slightly better. My whole life didn’t flash before my eyes this time out, and I really only thought I was seriously going to puke twice. So, to recap. The first time I thought for sure I was going to die, and wished I had while the puke-o-meter was 4. I didn’t really want to die, or feel like I was going to and the puke-o-meter was a 2. Not bad. As an aside, we got throttled 9-2, and I really suck.
Speaking of sucking, I am pretty sure things are going to be sucking for Penguins Nation in about 27 hours. Last night the Penguins had chance after chance after chance, and just could not beat the high flying Red Wings. I look for a 5-2 Wings victory tomorrow night to clinch the cup.
The news is no better on the farm, as Wilkes-Barre went down 2 love to Chicago in the American League finals this afternoon. These two teams really do not care for each other, and there was even a fight when I was watching. I had to leave for my game, but I am really psyched I talked MOL out of canceling the NHL Network from our cable line up, as they are showing the Calder Cup finals. Get it all in while you can boys, as we are in the final days of the 2007-2008 hockey season. If I still drank, I would.