GoonBlog.com

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks.

GoonSquad

GoonBlog T-Shirt Pre-Order. Anyone?


in GoonSquad

Hello all – and I hope my email on this lovely Spring day finds you well. I’ll get right to the point – Chris, Hammer and I really wanted to have a bunch of GoonBlog merchandise based around the new logo created so that we could give it all away to friends and loyal readers like friggin’ Santy Claus. I have talked to 7 different print shops at this point. I have been ‘hooked-up’ by people who are sleeping with, or at least tugging, presidents and CEOs. There is still no way we’re going to get this done for less than $500 of our own cash.

I can live off hommous and baby carrots for a month and front the money, but hopes of giving the stuff away free in the interest of publicity is going to be too cost-prohibitive. My question is this, dear reader. I know you’re out there, because we check the server logs daily and speak with a lot of you via email and comments. Is there a market for these shirts? If I were to arrange a pre-order for a limited edition line of 2-sided, 3-color shirts with the logo on the front and "Drop the Gloves" on the back would you pay $10 for one? That’s with a very small margin for the GoonSquad – probably just enough to cover costs, and maybe even shipping too. I’d make it real easy by setting up a dedicated PayPal account.

Leave a comment and let us know if you’d be interested. The wheels are already in motion to get these made pretty fast. I just have to know if there is going to be any demand because I’m not in the habit of taking baths, unless of course it’s in a ceramic tub and I’ve paid a Phillipino prostitute to accompany me. And even then certainly not $500.

{ 11 Comments }

Bruins Looking Good – Literally


in Chris, Colton Orr, Eric Godard

No, not on the ice you silly goose – on my TV. That’s right boys, Goonblog is watching in style. As of 8:30 EST there is a 42" HD Plasma in Goonblog HQ. Currently, MOL is enjoying a bit of the OC in HD, but I am gearing up for a take over soon. The first thing I watched was my DVR Recording of Colton Orr and Eric Godard from earlier this year. Almost brought tears to my eyes.

Speaking of Orrsie, did anyone catch his two fights last night? I was watching the Bruins suck in Buffalo, so I missed them both. From what I heard Orr Killed Godard in his first tilt, and got jumped by Erksine in the second fight, and really couldn’t do anything with him. I have zero on tap for the weekend, so there should be surfing aplenty at the Goonblog HQ all weekend long. Come on by for a brew….don’t cost nothing.

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Lazy Goonblog Weekend


in Chris, GoonSquad

MOL and I went to the Garden today to pick up tickets for next Saturday’s tilt against the Hurricanes. I called Dave on the way in and woke him up for the noontime meal. We went over to The Fours for a spot of lunch. Tasty place by the way. I suggest the chowder, and the Doug Flutie Sandwich. Good times. During lunch we discussed some ideas for a logo for Goonblog, with the idea to have some shirts made. (Stay tuned for more.)

The guy across the bar looked very familiar to MOL, and I. Dave, in his defense, could not see due to a post. Dining across the bar was none other than Mr. Hannu Toivonen. It looked like he was enjoying a nice Club Sangy, and a Bud Light. I guess he’s not playing tonight eh? If he is, I guess they will have an excuse for losing?

That’s about all that’s going on. If you have NHL Center Ice, I suggest flipping to the Sharks Game in progress. 4 Ejections so far and it’s just now past halfway. Did you know the Preds had the most fighting majors the last time the NHL played? Neither did I.

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Hal Gill – Closet Shit Disturber?


in Dave, Hal Gill

I just got back from row 15 Loge at the Garden (many thanks to Lynch for sharing his awesome Christmas present with me) where the Canadiens smited the Bruins 2-0. It was a decent game with the Boston actually spending more time on the offensive than Montreal, but to no avail. Perhaps the Samsonov trade was hanging heavy on the hearts of the players. Regardless – I won’t rehash details you can read elsewhere, as the real point of interest tonight was the uncharacteristic thuggery of a Mr. Hal Gill.

Was he lamenting the loss of his old friend and acting out? Perhaps: ”We came in the league together and we grew up a lot together, but it’s the nature of the business. For whatever reason, whether it’s money, or whatever the direction the team is going, he wasn’t in the plan. That’s the way it goes…" Whatever the reasons, Hal had a crosshecking and holding penalty before the game was half over, and with 3:47 left in the second period Boston and Montreal engaged in a 10-player kerfuffle which resulted in multiple game misconducts. The action took place a good distance from my great seats, but I was able to get a few choice fracas snaps.

Hal Gill fights Montreal

After a few scuffles cleared in the Canadiens’ zone, Hal Gill and Craig Rivet each received fighting majors, while Nick Boynton picked up a double-minor for spearing and a game misconduct. "We weren’t playing very well," said Boynton. "I was trying to spark the team a little bit and get something going. There’s no place for that in this league anymore. It is what it is." Tell us about it. Well meant, the mess resulted in little more than a fifteen minute pause in the play.

Bruins vs. Canadiens.

Gill was in the dog house most of the night, and although we give him a lot of crap here on GB, the "giraffe-on-skates" is not afraid to get physical when need be. Frequent commentor Greg ran into him in the North End Wednesday night. He was carrying his daughter to Ray Borque’s restaurant, and is apparently a very pleasant guy. I am going to have to rethink all the negativity. Chris? Hammer? You with me?

Gloves on the Ice.

I love this picture. It’s like watching the pistol smoke clear at the OK Corral while Wyatt Earp argues with an official in the background. Or something like that. Chris and I have 2 more Bruins games to hit over the next two weeks, as we’re trying to get our fill before season’s end. Hopefully we’ll have a good content spike before the crickets start chirping. I am not looking forward to fucking baseball.

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Merry Milestones: GoonBlog Hits 100!


in The Ref

Shhh. Do you hear that? It’s history happening all around us. Let us gather, children, sacrifice a goat and then harken the 100th post of the almighty GoonBlog.

Chris and I started about 6 months ago with a mutual love of thuggery, hockey, liquor, Slapshot and liquor – and we’ve managed to turn that into a site which is actually considered by most to be a legitimate source of new hockey journalism. Whatever that is. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves while crying to sleep every night. The Hammer is around here somewhere, too.

Our scope is sometimes limited and our entries have definitely bordered on infrequent, but we’ve made many new friends and have thoroughly enjoyed the experience thus far. Wherever a rookie enforcer hits the ice, we’ll be there. Whenever a no-name AHL thug gets mentioned in the media, we’ll be there. And whenever Chris and I end up PC’d after 8 pints of Banknorth Garden draft – well, I guess we’ll be there too. We won’t have a choice at that point.

Rest assured we’re not going anywhere, except maybe to a holding tank, and we thank you all for reading.

{ 19 Comments }

Write You Inglorious Bastard, Write!


in GoonSquad

I know you’re busy Chris. I know the ball and chain, bless her, is a demanding harpy who keeps you chained to the chipped cherrywood bedpost. But you’ve got to start writing more often. Your fans demand it – and they are indeed out there. No one was as surprised as I was when I checked the server logs last night.

Perhaps getting a shout out in the little known New York frigging Times is what you need to get the creative juices flowing again? If not, you’re a shell of a man who isn’t fit to write their own name. In purple crayon. The NYT site requires you to register, so I’ll quote the best part of Keith Gessen’s generous article for you here:

"In fact, the position hockey occupies within the sports world resembles nothing so much as the position literature occupies within the world of media. So what is needed now, for the sake of both hockey and literature, is more hockey literature. Not just books about hockey, like "The Game," but also books not about hockey, like "Amazons" — which is not about hockey in just the right way. It is like my favorite of the new hockey blogs, Goonblog, which purports to cover fighting in the N.H.L. but is, inadvertently, all about the inability of the site’s chief writer, who seems to live near Lowell, Mass., to actually catch a fight on TV. He drinks a little too much, for one thing, and sometimes his girlfriend makes him watch a Bernie Mac movie, but even when he does make it through a whole Bruins game, no one seems to be fighting. "Where is all the emotion?" he demanded earlier in the season. "I realize the fighting will be down because of the rules, but where are the scrums after the whistle? I have seen one good face wash, and I am not happy about it."

Get mad, you funny little bastard, and come back to the GoonBlog.

{ 8 Comments }

Alive. Well. Hammering.


in GoonSquad, The Hammer

For those of you who thought "The Hammer" was dead and buried fear not, I was just on holiday.  I don’t know if it is watching hockey at 9 AM, or the bigger ice surface, but I have to sheepishly admit that (first I am not from Belgium) I like the Euro style hockey.  Fast action but not a lot of hitting – we need to find a happy meduim. Maybe make the AHL rinks bigger or show those Euro fruits how to drop the gloves.

By the way #25 still stinks and I don’t like him.

{ 12 Comments }

NHL Pay Or AHL Play?


in AHL, Chris, Colton Orr, Goons, Jesse Boulerice

I read an article the other day about Hurricanes enforcer Jesse Boulerice, and how he has played in 18 of 36 games for Carolina, and hadn’t had a fight since November 16th. It went on to say that 71% of all NHL games this season have been fight free. That is up from the 59% of fight free games the last time the NHL played. That stat itself is a whole topic on its own. At any rate, it got me to thinking about the role of the enforcer. I sort of thought they’d be a dying breed at the NHL level, but fighting seems to be alive and well in the AHL and below. So I ask you this: Would you rather stay at the NHL, not play and collect an NHL paycheck every two weeks? Or, would you rather go down to the farm, not make as much money, but play every day?

Last year during the AHL Playoffs, the Providence Journal did a story on then P-Bruin tough guy Colton Orr. They were saying how he was all over the ice. How he played in every situation, and how he didn’t take anything off the table. This about Colton Orr. Would you ever see Orr on a NHL power play? Not unless the rest of the team was dead you wouldn’t. Guys like Orr, and Boulerice can play in every situation in the AHL, but are a scratch most nights in the show. When was the last game Orr played for the Rangers? Does anyone know?

Orr and Boulerice are just two guys that come to mind. I am sure if I thought about it, there are probably 10 more guys. Which brings me back to the question, do you get paid, or do you want to play? Would you prefer to skate in practice and sit in the press box, or be sent down to the AHL, and play every night. Keep in mind, you may not play in the NHL, but you do get the NHL pay. Down on the farm, you draw an AHL salary. If it’s me, I want to play. I would want to play all the time in a competitive capacity, than skate in practice, and watch the games. Granted, the money is way less, but if you go down and work hard, there is always the chance to go back up. I’m interested in the opinion of the forum on this one. Drop the gloves, and get in the fray.

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Hockey’s Halfway Point


in Dave, GoonSquad

ESPN’s Scott Burnside chimes in with a good read marking the absolute middle of the season. What if they were to dole out trophies this weekend as opposed to the end of the season? Who would be on the receiving end of the recognition? Have a look at some of Scooter’s midterm grades, including hat tips to:

– Bryan McCabe’s ‘monster’ year in Toronto.
– Joe Thorton’s strong season despite the "WTF?!" moment we recently endured here in Beantown.
– The rookie race that is Crosby vs. Ovechkin.
– Mike O’Conell and Craig Patrick’s heated competition for the "Change the Sheets" award. Can you guess why I am calling it that?

Will Joe-Joe breathe new life into the Sharks? How long can the Rangers continue to dominate? Can Kovalchuk leave Jagr in the dust? 5 Bruins games, 2 Lockmonsters games and 1 BU game so far under my belt. And there’s really lots of ice time left – I am so, so thankful, but so, so broke. Ah, screw it. Goon ‘er up.

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