The Ref

Write You Inglorious Bastard, Write!

by The Ref on February 23, 2006
in GoonSquad

I know you’re busy Chris. I know the ball and chain, bless her, is a demanding harpy who keeps you chained to the chipped cherrywood bedpost. But you’ve got to start writing more often. Your fans demand it – and they are indeed out there. No one was as surprised as I was when I checked the server logs last night.

Perhaps getting a shout out in the little known New York frigging Times is what you need to get the creative juices flowing again? If not, you’re a shell of a man who isn’t fit to write their own name. In purple crayon. The NYT site requires you to register, so I’ll quote the best part of Keith Gessen’s generous article for you here:

"In fact, the position hockey occupies within the sports world resembles nothing so much as the position literature occupies within the world of media. So what is needed now, for the sake of both hockey and literature, is more hockey literature. Not just books about hockey, like "The Game," but also books not about hockey, like "Amazons" — which is not about hockey in just the right way. It is like my favorite of the new hockey blogs, Goonblog, which purports to cover fighting in the N.H.L. but is, inadvertently, all about the inability of the site’s chief writer, who seems to live near Lowell, Mass., to actually catch a fight on TV. He drinks a little too much, for one thing, and sometimes his girlfriend makes him watch a Bernie Mac movie, but even when he does make it through a whole Bruins game, no one seems to be fighting. "Where is all the emotion?" he demanded earlier in the season. "I realize the fighting will be down because of the rules, but where are the scrums after the whistle? I have seen one good face wash, and I am not happy about it."

Get mad, you funny little bastard, and come back to the GoonBlog.

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Steve Downie – The Super-Pest.

by The Ref on January 7, 2006
in Goons, Steve Downie, The Ref

You know you’ve established yourself when you start to get comment-spam. I’m deleting ’em as quickly as I catch ’em, people. It’s almost flattering though. And enough with the penis enlargement ads, you spamming bastards. Who the hell have you been talking to?

David and Goliath – Downie and Malkin. No relation to Gord, the Super-Pest helped Canada in their 5-0 pimp-slap of the Russians, as you may or may not know. I don’t watch a lot of World Junior Hockey. In fact, I’ve never watched any. But Downie’s performance, spunk and grit reeks of a little Goon in the making.

…Downie and Khudobin were chirping back and forth, an exchange that ended when Downie took his glove off and held up four fingers."He was saying something, I couldn’t understand him," said Downie. "I know it must have been good, so I just gave him the four-goal symbol. He didn’t say anything after that."

Technically he’s a promising star right winger – but Goon, as we like to bestow the title, can be about the ‘tude too. My Grandmother would call Downie, "cheeky", probably right before driving to his hometown of Newmarket for some gravestone rubbings. But regardless, if he were a little taller and heavier Steve would undoubtedly be a bonafide bruiser-to-be. And then there’s that silly little habit he has of attacking his teammates.

The rules have changed in the NHL (literally) and little Stevie could be a slugging star in Philly (by way of being kicked off the Windsor Spitfires) if he can get past all the cross-checking in the head nonsense. This tournament win may have redeemed his tattered reputation, has definitely ensured him a chance at the show, and I suppose we’ll see where the bugger ends up. Be it the Flyers or be it anger management counseling. It’s Friday night and I’m rambling. Have a great weekend, everyone.

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Remembering The Joe Turners

by The Ref on November 11, 2005
in Uncategorized

Today is Remembrance Day, and although I do have to get to work, I at least feel somewhat less guilty about blogging during office hours in this instance. Especially since I’m going to talk about a related subject – how World War II affected the AHL, NHL – and more importantly the players of the day – when Hitler crashed the boards in the early 1940’s. I am taking my cue from this article which focuses on a goaltender named Joe Turner, who played around the AHL and eventually became a Detroit Red Wing in 1943. More information on Joe from LegendsOfHockey.net:

"Turner, who was born in Windsor, Ontario, spent three of his first four seasons playing in his hometown then began a nomadic stretch that saw him guard the crease for seven different clubs over the next five campaigns which led to his NHL debut."

Joe, a Canadian, finished off his debut season and then joined the U.S. Army and eventually lost his life at the Battle of Hurtgen Forest in Germany when he was only 25 years old. This struck a chord with me, as my great, great, great grandfather was a Canadian who went down to fight for the Yankees in the American Civil War. And on both counts I find the deed remarkable.

The current overseas conflict is the first in almost a hundred years that Canada has not participated alongside the Americans – and I don’t want to get in to how I feel about the seated government here on GB. But I guess I sorta just did. On this November 11th, a heartfelt thanks to Joe Turner, Red Garrett, Les Douglas, Moe Roberts, Norm Burns, Augie Herchenratter, Murdo MacKay and all the other players of the era who stepped up and served their country – some never to return. And of course, a bigger thank you to them all, regardless of the occupation they left to heed the call.

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Enforcer Eligible For Workman’s Compensation – Who Ordered The Code Red?

by The Ref on November 10, 2005
in Goons

“This court finds that fighting is an integral part of hockey.”

It’s nice to see a little legitimacy shine through for the enforcer role. During his time in Virginia, Ty Jones’ tenure as the Norfolk Admirals’ resident goon hit a few speedbumps. A former Panther and Blackhawk, Jones found himself out of work as a direct result of injuries sustained in a fracas he claims he was ordered to instigate. After his coach told him to "go get" an opposing player during a game in 2002, Jones found himself out of work with six screws in his shoulder.

The Admirals insisted that the fight "amounted to willful misconduct and that he was not entitled to workers’ compensation". So Jones was essentially left to twist in the wind for something he felt and was told was part of his job. It was looking pretty grim, until an appellate court ruled in favor of the enforcer…

"The Virginia Court of Appeals upheld a Virginia Workers’ Compensation Commission finding that ‘fighting is an integral part of the game of hockey’ and that Ty A. Jones’ injury arose in the course of his employment as an ‘enforcer.’"

So the question now is – does that mean that Colonel Nathan Jessop would order a cross check?

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CBC’s “The Instigator” Returns

by The Ref on November 7, 2005
in Uncategorized

Score another one for the good guy hockey fans. I mean, other than having the season back. A tiny grass roots effort, spearheaded by Puck Update and another affiliated blog, has finally succeeded in getting the hilarious Instigator cartoon strip re-instated on the CBC’s hockey website.

The power of the internet is truly staggering. If you’re not familiar with this gem, click through and familiarize yourselves. It looks like we’ll be able to enjoy it for a while yet. On a sorta related note, I washed Don Cherry’s windows once (I worked a summer during University on a window crew in and around Toronto). He wasn’t home at the time (neither was Blue). How’s that for a riveting anecdote?

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Let’s Go to the Show! Janssen and Gillies Get The Call

by The Ref on November 5, 2005
in The Ref, Trevor Gillies

Two of GB’s favorite slugging sons, Trevor Gillies and Cam Janssen, got the shoulder tap today and are headed to the NHL (Ducks and Devils respectively). We’ll bring you updates as they develop. In related news Malone just had a clear win against Leach. Easily 7 right hands to none. Now Orr and VanDenBussh are having a go. This post is writing itself. Tempers are flaring at the Garden.

Chris is actually at the game right now, so I’ll let him chime in and elaborate in the morning.

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Black Eyed To The Future – Domi vs Grattan

by The Ref on November 3, 2005
in Brian McGrattan, Goons, Tie Domi

The Ref has been putting off mentioning Domi’s Saturday night defeat at the fists of Brian McGratton for a reason. As we all know, denial is not just a river in Windsor. Is my man finally over the hill? Has Domi decided to take a back seat to Belak? Am I rattling off useless hypothetical questions like it’s my job in addition to referring to myself in the third-person like a pompous pad-sniffer?

The answers to all of these questions are open to interpretation (except maybe the last one), but GoonBlog feels that Saturday’s incident, and elements of Domi’s season thus far in general, are no reason to count him out just yet. You win some, and you lose some. And there’s no refuting Domi’s place in the hearts and minds of his fellow thumpers.

Tie’s introduction to the NHL was as an enforcer, but over time he evolved into an aware player who can rack up goals right alongside the KO’s.

"Tie Domi is kind of a role model for guys who play this role… He’s a huge part of the team. I respect a guy like Domi because he came into the league as a tough guy and has made himself into a player who contributes. That’s what we’re all trying to accomplish. You can’t just fight and expect to stay in the game." – Andrew Peters.

Kids who start playing the game at a young age, but outgrow their peers due to genetics and see their roles change, don’t always have to choose between aspiring to being either a goon or a Gretzky. And that fact is going to be increasingly more relevant in the perceived New NHL where the brutality is taking a backseat. Oh we still need the size and the strength, but you’ll have to be a well-rounded producer to boot. It’s simple evolution, like it or not. And the future holds a lot more guys like Tie.

And let’s remember – that was a pretty disrespectful taunt by the sinister Senator. To the entire Leaf team. I didn’t see anybody else get off the bench to answer the call.

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Best Fight Videos Of 2003-2004

by The Ref on August 25, 2005
in Goons, The Ref

HockeyFights.com’s VodkaFish has just posted his collection of the best fight videos of the 2003-2004 season – including: Brown vs. Vandermeer, Simon vs. McNeill, Fedoruk vs. Lessard and several more. You can download them and watch morbidly transfixed again and again! He’s also enabled voting, so you can ‘big up’ your preferred pugilists. Well done, VF. We’ll be watching. Unhealthily.

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Enforcer Reality Show

by The Ref on July 23, 2005
in Chris, Goons

OK fight fans. Here is your shot. If I were running a TV network, I would demand production start immediately on a reality TV show featuring Providence Bruin Brendan Walsh. I mean right now. Brendan is always on. On the ice he is always chirping. He is a master of getting under everyone’s skin. Like an annoying gnat at a Summer BBQ, there is Brendan Walsh. So, here is you chance….let’s do this thing MTV Real World Style.

Pick Seven enforcers to live in a house, to find out what happens where people stop being polite, and start being real. I think I may have just infringed on about 87 copyrights just then but I couldn’t resist. Here are my seven. Brendan Walsh: Walshy is the focus of the show. If only because you know the other six guys in the house would all fight him at one point. Dennis Bonvie: He represents the Old Guard. Plus he is as funny as Walshy, and would probably bundle Walshy for stealing the spotlight. Trevor Gillies, and Jeremy Yablonski: These two guys are best friends, and had one of the fights of the year two seasons ago when Trevor was with Lowell, and Yabo was with Worcester. (Did anyone see that by the way? I was drinking at the Applebee’s across the street, and managed to miss the whole first period. I heard it was awesome. Stupid alcohol. )

Cam Jannsen: Young up and comer. Would want to fight everyone. Lyndon Byers: You have to have a fall down drunk in the house. Hopefully viewers would be treated to a Vern Troyer like episode like on the Surreal Life. What? Surreal Life is cool. Brian McGratton: Hopefully Bonvie would be so pissed about McGratton breaking his single season penalty record; he’d try to fight him every day. So there it is. The cast of Tough Guys. Help me out with this one fight fans…let’s see some lists.

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What’s the Deal With That?

by The Ref on July 23, 2005
in AHL, Chris, Goons

I was talking the other day with some friends about guys that are down in the AHL, that don’t want to fight because, as they say, it’s just the American League. The latest example is Lowell Lockmonster Gordie Dwyer. I asked him why he hasn’t been fighting as much this season, and he told me flat out, because it’s only the American League. I can see his point this year a little bit, because there is no call up coming, what with the lockout on and all, but this isn’t the first time I have heard of, or seen an enforcer unwilling to drop em down in the A.

I would think if you have been in the show, been a tough guy in the show, part of the reason you got there, is your pugilistic skills. I would think having had a taste of the NHL; you’d do anything possible to get back there. Do these guys not want to fight because they want to work on their game to play their way back into the show? Wouldn’t you think part of staying sharp would be to keep the fighting skills sharp? I think beating up some up and comer in the A would be just what the Doctor ordered to get some confidence, and keep the skills sharp. Gordie has been very quiet this year. Aside from a fight with Brendan Walsh early on, and a couple of scraps against Joe Rullier, and JF Soucy of Springfield, we haven’t seen much of him. The fight he was in weren’t even that memorable.

I have seen him go in the NHL. He had a pretty memorable fight with Darcy Hordichuk a year or so ago. It was memorable because Darcy beat him like a red headed step child. Is he any good? The Lowell fans are starved for an enforcer. Gordie can be it. Someone needs to sneak in the dressing room, and remove the tie downs on the gloves.

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