GoonBlog.com

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks

Hockey fight blog with humorous, blow-by-blow commentary on goons, enforcers and donnybrooks.

Chris

One Down


in AHL, Chris, GoonSquad, Old Time Hockey

It has been playoff time for a week now, and so far, we have seen some great games. San Jose and Nashville has a real snarl to it, and I have enjoyed the Detroit and Calgary series. In the East I have watched the beloved Penguins go down 3-1 to the Senators, and I have been watching the Rangers series as well. This is the best time of the year to be a hockey fan. The NCAA’s just wrapped up (Heart breaker for BC) the local High School Tourneys are wrapped up, and the NHL and AHL playoffs have begun. Below are 10 observations, ramblings, if you will on the Playoffs so far.

1. San Jose and Nashville really don’t like each other.
This has been the old time hockey special from the start. There have been nasty hits from behind, brawls, and a general chippiness I like. The series represents the old guard, and has been my favorite so far.

2. I don’t like Buffalo.
All fucking Winter I have had to listen to Buffalo fans piss and moan on XM about how they came this close, and they were the better team last year, and if this happened, that would have happened..enough already! Now they are taking the whole playoffs lightly. The Isle may not be good enough to make them pay for it, but I’d love to see them bump off the Sabres and their mouthy fans.

3. I really like Sean Avery
He has been the ultimate playoff player. He’s been a real shit disturber, and has taken Atlanta off their game, while playing a big role in his own team’s success. I would love to see him in the Black and Gold.

4. So far, no one is stopping Detroit.
Those guys are scary good. Calgary has tried to push them around, and it hasn’t worked out. I think the series is going back to the Joe tied because Calgary is a force at home, but they can’t win on the road. Eventually it will be the Flames undoing.

5. Tampa Bay is going to win their series.
The Bolts have forced the Devils to play un Devil like hockey, and it will be their undoing.

6. I have not seen one second of the Ducks series.
Let me clarify. I did see some of it, but I was wasted. Um. Go Ducks?

7. I am a sick man.
I watched a very good deal of the bazillion OT game Dallas and Vancouver played on opening night. I looked up at 1 AM and realized, hey, WTF? I am not from Vancouver, or Dallas. What the hell am I doing? Oh yeah, and I was out of beer.

8. Ding Dong. I’ll get it.
Hit of the playoffs so far? Armstrong on Eaves. Good clean hockey play and I love it.

9. I hate to say it.
I think the Rangers are going to win the East. Goaltending is hot right now, and the team is playing well in front of him. Having Shanny in the room will help.

10. Early favorite.
Wings. I really don’t see anyone stopping them. Calgary has tried to push them around, and they have not let that happen. Goaltending has been good, and they have been scoring a lot of goals. Add that to the experience in the room, and I give you the ’07 Champs, the Detroit Red Wings.

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Off Topic Brawl


in Chris

Great bout between Tony and Bacala on Sunday eh? Bacala definitely jumped him, but at the same time, Tony should have seen it coming after calling his wife a whore. Taz made a good point, saying it’s kind of like when Andre Pillow Hands Payette asked someone to go, and then claimed he was jumped. He should have seen it coming too.

The bout started after Tony called Bacala’s wife, and his own sister, a whore. After Bacala had warned him, Tony did it again, and Bacala fucking clocked him. From the outset of the fight, it was Bobby B’s. He landed hard rights to Tony’s head, and landed a lot to his gut. Smart move by Bacala trying to expose his weakness. MOL was appalled because she is a nurse, and was concerned for Tony’s gut shot. It was then I reminded her it was a TV show. So, Tony and Bacala were whaling on each other, and Carmella went all Kevin Collins on them and tried to jump in. Well, she paid the price and was thrown into a couch nearly breaking her shoulder. Eventually the boys were separated, with Bobby Bacala going to his box the winner. I never thought he’d win that fight, but it is an interesting parallel to the role of the enforcer. You win some and lose some in the role of enforcer. Tony will be back I am sure, and to some degree he already retaliated by making Bobby clip that guy. If I am Tony, I have the next meeting circled on my calendar, and if I am Bacala, I am watching my back.

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I’m Not Playing


in AHL, Chris, GoonSquad, Lowell Devils, Trevor Gillies

I’m suspended. I am also 21, 22, big afro. Today was our annual sports day at the office. Usually on Opening Day you can wear your favorite sports team gear, and since the only thing I have is an Oglethorpe jersey I got as a Halloween costume a few years ago, it’s what I go with every year. Only a few people get it, but hey, that’s kind of the norm for hockey fans anyway eh? No one gets the game we love. Oh my god, Lou just fired me. Speaking of being a hockey fan, this weekend was a super fan weekend.

Friday was spent in Lowell watching the Devils lose to the Portland Pirates. I was quite focused on Mr. Gillies for a couple of reasons.

1. This is called Goonblog. We like Goons.

2. I kind of was all over the boy for his performance the last time he was in the building.

As I watched him I noticed two things.

1. I think he’s out of Coach Dineen’s dog house. Trevor got a regular shift, and didn’t hurt the team.

2. He wasn’t acting like a spastic Pee Wee on the bench this time around. Hard to explain how weird it was to watch him do what he was doing on the bench last time without having actually seen him do it. Bizarre.

Obviously there were no fights. Duh. It’s Lowell. The game itself was pretty crappy, but Bekah and I got a brew after and talked about how Mr. Kitty is doing so it was cool.

Saturday found me on the couch watching the Bruins blow another one. This game featured two fights, and they were even pretty good scraps. I especially enjoyed the Hoggan tilt. I’d like to see more of him next season. I learned two things watching this tilt.

1. Gord Kluzak is a pussy.

2. Rob Simpson may be a dork, but he is obviously a big fight fan, and as such, I will now lay off him.

Saturday evening found me back in Lowell. I can’t say exactly why I missed the entire game, but I did. They won. I don’t think there were any fights.

Sunday was a real good day for me. I went down to Providence and Kinger and I went to the Bruins tilt. I got to his place around 2:30ish and naturally we headed right to the bar for some brew and snacks. After a couple of beers and a banging chicken sangy, oh, and an attempted mugging (don’t ask) we headed off for the game. We were standing in line, when some dude cam up and handed us two free tickets. Nice! The only thing better than a hockey game, is a free hockey game. We settled into our seats at the old folk’s home (I swear to god, the Dunk smells just like the nursing home my grandfather was in) and watched the Devils lose to the Bruins. It was a pretty entertaining tilt that featured a fight between Aaron Downey and the mouth, Lowell Devil forward David Clarkson. At first blush it looked like Clarkie got killed, but watching the replay, none of what Downey threw really landed. In fact, I think Clarkson landed the only punch of the fight on his first hard right hand. Pre Replay, I call it a big win for Downey, post, it’s a draw.

Since I was with Kinger in Providence, we obviously went to the Ballet after. Our place of choice was Desires. Not a bad joint. When we went in the place, the B and C teams were taking their cuts, but as we left some of the ringers had come aboard. All in all it was an outstanding weekend. This is a great time of the year for hockey, and it’s good to get in as many games as possible before all we have is stupid baseball. Now, who is going to buy me a soda after the game?

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Super Sleuth


in AHL, Chris, Goons, GoonSquad, Gordie Dwyer

I have been looking for Gordie all year, and I fucking found him.
Looks like his career lives on with that waste of a first rounder, Nikos Tselios. I don’t speak Swedish or whatever, so I have no idea what this says. I can gather that Wendel Clark is Gordie’s favorite player. Good to know. Good luck Gordie. Bring me back some meatballs eh?

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Trevor Gillies lived Under Power Lines


in AHL, Chris, Goons, GoonSquad, Trevor Gillies

Trevor. Did you eat a lot of paint chips as a kid? I was at the Devils game in Lowell this past snowy Friday night. Since the game was boring as hell, I was watching Trevor Gillies for most of the third period. My friend Bekah says I am obsessed. Well, no more than she is obsessed with Mr. Kitty. At any rate, I noticed a few things.

The first thing I noticed is Mr. Gillies has fallen a long way from the guy that was wearing an A on his chest last season. Every shift he took, which wasn’t many, Coach Dineen was all over him upon his return to the bench. Coach is all over this guy.

Secondly, he is like a Pee Wee on the bench. No kidding. For most of the Third Period, which was tied by the way, Trevor was fooling around with his helmet, elbowing the guy next to him, punching the same guy in the gut, and pushing his helmet forward. I couldn’t believe I was watching a Professional do that sort of thing on the bench. Maybe he’s just really bored, but it was strange to see a pro do it. Trevor also seemed to be pretty chummy with Mike Hoffman, a guy he has fought a zillion times this season. Anyway, you really had to see what Gillies was doing on the bench t believe it. I really was amazed. If he can’t figure out why he’s in Dineen’s dog house, this may be a big reason why.

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Busy Week


in Cam Janssen, Chris, Goons, GoonSquad

I can not fucking believe the Bruins took another too many men on the ice penalty today. Again, while on the Power Play. If this isn’t the most poorly coached team in the NHL, then I don’t know what is.

At any rate. Here is a snap shot of my week last week.

Monday: Work. Outback Steakhouse. Reno 911 Movie. Home.

Tuesday: Work. Quick one at 99 that turned into 5. Home.

Wednesday: Work. Lowell Devils vs. Albany River Rats. Home.

Thursday: Work. Bruins vs. Wild, left at the end of the second because I was so fucking bored. Went to the Fours watched Simon’s tomahawk chop on Hollweg. Home. Poured MOL into bed.

Friday: Work. Quick three at the 99, then the Woo Sharks vs. Hartford, Papa Razzi, Home.

Big whoop. We are all busy. Point I am making is it was a very busy week for me, but it was equally busy for controversy in the NHL. That, ladies and gentlemen, is called a segue.

It actually started last Friday night. For those of you under a rock or without Youtube, New Jersey forward Cam Janssen was suspended three games for hitting Toronto defenseman Tomas Kaberle in what the NHL deemed an illegal way. I have seen the hit a zillion times, and I think it was three things.

1. It was very late. Kaberle was admiring his pass and Janssen in on the forecheck had plenty of time to turn back up ice. Instead he drilled Kaberle, who wasn’t even looking at him.
2. It was totally unnecessary. I understand Janssen’s role, and what he was trying to do, but he could have really hurt Kaberle, and it didn’t need to be done.
3. It was dirty. Again, I understand what he’s trying to do, but to drill a guy that is prone like that isn’t the way to do it. You want to stir it up, go hit a guy fair and square. Doing what he did perpetuations the notion of hockey and enforcers being barbaric.

What I found most shocking at the time of Janssen’s hit was the half hearted response by the Leafs. Only Travis Green did anything on the ice, and it didn’t look like his heart was really in it. I was reading in the book I have about Bobby Orr, Searching for Bobby Orr, about an incident in Boston many moons ago. Basically Bobby was clipped in the face accidentally by a Maple Leaf, and it started a brawl on the ice, and a near riot in the Boston Garden. After I thought about it for a couple of days, the shock really wore off. This is the new NHL people. There is no emotion in an 82 game exhibition season. I do have March 30th circled on my calendar though, as the Devils and Leafs play each other and there should be some fireworks. Having said that, see the above sentence about the new NHL and most likely nothing will happen.

The second incident was far more fiendish, and sinister carried out by Islander forward Chris Simon. For those of you emerging from a coma, first off welcome back and secondly I will recap. Chris Simon, after being drilled from behind by Ranger forward and super pest Ryan Hollweg, picked himself up off the ice. As Hollweg was coming back at him because the puck was in Simon’s area instead of Simon dropping the mitts and taking Hollweg on one on one, he went crazy for a second, and chopped Hollweg in the jaw with his stick. You no do that. Never never. MOL and I watched it at the Fours after leaving the most boring Bruins game ever. The Simon slash was one of those incidents where the whole bar saw it, and yelled out loud.

I understand what happened here. Simon lost control of his emotions for a second, and instead of doing what he should have done, i.e. drop the buckets and whale on Hollweg, he did something really stupid. I am in no way condoning what Simon did, in fact, quite the opposite. Hockey is an emotional game, and you need to try your best to harness that emotion in the right way. I am sure there isn’t a single guy that has played against Hollweg that hasn’t wanted to chop him in the face with their stick. His job is to be a pest, and he does it well. Having said that, Simon should never, ever have done what he did. I am sure he is very sorry about it, and wishes he could take it back, but that is no excuse. You have to respect the other players out there, even if you want to smash them to death with your stick. You just don’t do what Simon did, and I think the NHL did exactly what they needed to do in suspending him for 25 games.

There is a place for fighting in the NHL, and the stick work shown by Simon is a big reason why. He should have challenged Hollweg to a fight if he felt wronged. People that are against fighting should get used to seeing a guy getting chopped in the face like Hollweg was, because if and when it is regulated out of the game, it is going to be happening all the time.

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What do you want for nothing? Rubber Biscuit?


in Chris, Hockey Fight Videos

As you guys all know, I think Rob Simpson is a goof. He must have nude pictures of someone somewhere, because he comes off like a total numnut on his in game reports on NESN. As such, I have never really paid much attention to his Rubber Biscuit show, also on NESN. I figure the 15 minutes a week I get of him on Bruins games is enough. However, when I heard that last weeks show was going to be about fighting, obviously I was firing up the DVR, and watching the show. I am glad I did.

For those not in the know, Rubber Biscuit is a half hour program on NESN. Basically what I can gather is it is a wacky behind the scenes look at the Bruins, both on the ice and off. Sounds like Simpson being Simpson, so I have basically avoided the whole thing. The fighting episode was perhaps the finest half hour in television history.

Basically, Rubber Biscuit takes the same stance Goonblog does on fighting, and fighting’s place is the game today. They also mixed in some awesome fight clips, and some quick interviews with Bruins legends, Ray Bourque, Jay Miller, Derek Turk Sanderson, Terry O’Reilly, and number 8, Cam Neely.

There was a common thread with all the interviews. Miller said he fought because he was a local kid and he felt like he was defending the honor of Boston, also, it was the only way he could stay in the show. O’Reilly said that back in his day, fighting was so common, and luckily for him it was, because it was, like Miller, the only way he could stay. Turk said the same thing. Even Bobby Orr and Ray Bourque fought. Said Sanderson. Bourque and Neely both said they did it when they had to. Neely as a product of his rough and tumble style, Bourque, to defend a teammate or retribution on a person that had taken some liberties with the interpretation of the rules.

What Rubber Biscuit said about fighting itself is there is a place in the game for it, in fact, a very big place. They looked at why the NHL in legislating fighting out, and the repercussion to the fans. Stating that people that aren’t watching the NHL now are never going to watch the NHL, no matter what kind of marketing they do. It made me think of basketball. No matter what the NBA does, I am never watching. I understand it is Sales, and Marketing 101, you need to grow the business through advertising, but if you change the product enough, you’ll drive away the existing customer base. See the drop in attendance as an example.

The show also examined the instigator rule. Paul Mara had said he wanted to do something about the cheap shot laid on a mate in Buffalo, but didn’t because he was afraid of getting his third instigator, and thus suspended for two games. It has always been my stance that without the instigator rule, the Todd Bertuzzi incident never happens.

All in all it was a fine program. This league is in deep trouble folks. The regular season has turned into a very long exhibition schedule, with no emotion or meaning to most of the games. Attendance is way down because North American hockey fans prefer North American hockey, not the Swedish Elite League. Rubber Biscuit really nailed the role of fighting in the NHL, and I suggest you catch it if you can

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Well, We’re Waiting.


in Brian McGrattan

Will they or won’t they? That is the question in Ottawa tonight, and around the hockey universe. What will happen tonight when Buffalo is in town? Will it be ugly? Or is it all hype? I have been warming up all day by watching brawls on Youtube. I apologize in advance to MOL if at our wedding I agree to take Youtube as my loving wife. To have and to hold. I loooooooove you Youtube. Anyway. This is what the NHL wants with the unbalanced schedule. A buzz about a divisional game. Even Crosby/Ovie didn’t have the hype this game does. Usually these games are all hype and no follow through. Lindy Ruff was fined 10K for putting out the goons the other night. I would suspect McGratton will be dressed for Ottawa. Should be good. I will be watching the Bruins, but checking in on Ottawa. Check back for updates. Killer. Call me.

Killer Called me. We just saw McGratton and Peters. Good scrap. I am topless.

UPDATE: This never got updated again last Saturday because I got plastered. Shocking.

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WTF?


in AHL, Chris, Goons, Keith Aucoin

A little over a year ago I wrote this little piece. For those of you not inclined to re read it, I will re hash. Last season Keith Aucoin almost started a brawl, and got his fucking head kicked in for being a smart mouth. I don’t like Aucoin, never have. He is mouthy and can’t back it up. I have never liked players like that. Well today, I got this comment from new reader AJ.

WAHHHHHH!!!!! Are u pissed that Aucoin is a better hockey player than you.Talk about Sour grapes.Pansy

While I appreciate the comments from any one, I gotta call AJ out on this one. First off, I don’t think I am crying here. I call them as I see them AJ. I was psyched to see the violence, and was hoping a brawl started. I don’t care who started it. I was simply making a point. Ask anyone who has seen Aucoin play, and they will tell you the same thing. He is mouthy.

Secondly. I am not pissed Aucoin is a better hockey player than me. I think he is outstanding as a player. He has a great scoring touch and a knack for scoring big goals. Tom Rowe definitely loves the guy as he has had him on his roster a couple of times. I also have a lot bigger things to worry about than if Keith Aucoin is a better hockey player than me. He sure fucking is. Know what? A lot of people are. I think I am over it. I sell IT equipment. I don’t play pro hockey. I am cool with it. As far as the sour grapes and me being a pansy? I don’t see it. I love the rough stuff, obviously as this blog isn’t called PrettyGoalblog. It’s fucking Goonblog. So AJ thanks for stopping by. Feel free to read all the posts, and as always, comments are welcome. Even if they are way off base.

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Colton Orr Scores!


in Colton Orr, Goons

FUCKING ORRSIE!!!! I just watched Colton Orr score his first ever NHL Goal!! I feel like a proud father. It was a pretty good one too. Nice backhander, after a crash and bang move to the goal! Kid has hands!! Off to dinner with MOL. Podcast coming tomorrow boys. Stay tuned.

Colton Orr

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