What would you believe as a plausible answer for where I have been since my last post?
1. On a whirlwind hockey adventure in which I saw parts of 12 games?
2. Starring as Kenickie in a production of Grease on Ice?
3. Drunk in a bar?
4. Jail?
5. Getting drunk in a bar, after being released from Jail?

Which one was the least believable? Number 2? Yeah I thought so too. If you guessed number 1, you are absolutely correct.

Hockey Week in Acton has become as grand a tradition as Hockey Day in Canada. They usually coincide with each other as luck would have it. My Hockey Week in Acton began last Friday night in Lowell in which I saw kind of a weird fight, and finished up last night at the Hub of Hockey with a real “Old Time Hockey” type game against the Ducks. Truthfully, it’s still going on as MOL is out, Milan is chewing my shoe, and the Habs are losing 2-0 to the Flyers. For the sake of this post, it ended last night.

Friday February 20th: Hartford at Lowell.
You would think with Sean Avery in town there would be a buzz in the building eh? I guess you’d actually need people in the building for that. Avery behaved himself, and only took a 2 minute penalty for something. Hooking maybe? Either way, he seemed pretty content (Habs scored, 2-1 Philly. I hate both these teams) to just play some hockey, and ignore some pretty creative signs. My favorite was the one with Rachel Hunter (FUCK 2-2. Good time for a fight) and Elisha Cuthbert on both side, and the words, “Sorry Sean, these girls only date NHL players.” Pretty darn funny. PL3 did ask him to go once, but he ignored him like he wasn’t even there.

Speaking of fights (DAMMIT 3-2 Habs), there was kind of a weird fight in this game. After drilling Hartford’s Brodie Dupont, Lowell’s Matthew Corrente was engaged with Hartford’s Jared Nightingale. The two dropped mitts and were about to square off when Dupont took decided he was going to do his own dirty work and fight his own battles. He dropped his gloves and went right after Corrente. Nightingale just kind of stood there and picked up his gloves as the other guys had at it. Very weird indeed. Not sure how Dupont didn’t get a third man in call, as Nightingale and Corrente were clearly engaged, but whatever. OK little scrap. I like Corrente a lot. He is afraid of no one, and is a good little hockey player to boot. I wouldn’t mind seeing him in the black and gold some day.

Hockey Day in Canada. Saturday February 21st. Started with Pittsburgh at Philadelphia, ended with Nashville at St. Louis with stops in LA, Dallas, and Florida.

I saw most of the Penguins game, except I missed the fight. The third period of the Dallas game, all of the LA game, all of the Bruins game, and the third period in St. Louis. I missed the fight in Philly due to a lunch break and the fight in the LA game because Milan had to poop. MOL was sick and asleep on the couch, so I parked it and flipped around. It was a superb way to spend a Saturday. I heard a couple of “Edwardsisms” all around the NHL. Obviously they were all over the Bruins game, but I heard two “layers of defense” and a few “half boards.” I am forgetting one. George, help me out here.

Sunday February 21st. First period of Pittsburgh at Washington. Worcester at Lowell. Third period of Boston at Tampa Bay. Lowell lost in a game best described as zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and Boston sucked in Tampa. Mark Stuart got beaten so badly coming out of the corner on Tampa’s 4th goal, I’m not sure his jock strap made the trip back to Boston. I just missed Shawn Thornton’s fight with David Koci in between periods, and I saw the replay of Stuart’s tussle with Gary Roberts. Needless to say, after the Bruins trip, I was concerned about the game against Florida Tuesday night.

Monday February 22nd. San Jose at Dallas. I could only muster the first period of this one, as MOL was kind enough to pass her cold onto me, and Milan and I could barely keep out eyes open. At the first intermission I asked her if she wanted to go to bed. She barked twice for yes. Then we went to bed, and she decided to bark at shadows in the bedroom for 30 minutes. Not good times. She is cute, but like her daddy, not bright.

Tuesday February 24th. Florida at Boston. This one found George and me in the Hub of Hockey and Hungry for Hockey. Like I said, there was great concern heading into this one. Good thing for us, and all the Bruins faithful (by the way, still plenty of room on the bandwagon) at the Garden. We were all hoping for the team we saw in November and dreading seeing the one we saw as of late. Luckily, they gave us the Marty McFly treatment and went back in time to the November club. Just a dominant performance by the boys, featuring a scrappy Nick Kobasew getting into it with Keith Ballard. He is playing like a man that doesn’t want to be dealt. The star of the evening was Byron Bitz. He chipped in 2 goals and had the 17,000 faithful chanting his name for the trick. They tried to give him a chance at it by putting him out on the ice at the end of the game, but it wasn’t to be. Still, Bitzy has played very well, and I expect great things from him in seasons to come. I have been very impressed with him and I hope he kicks the shit out of Huggy Bear tomorrow.

Wednesday February 25th. Lowell at Worcester. Yes, I willingly traveled to Worcester to see the Devils. What can I say? I’m sick. After some heavy apps. At Pizzeria Uno’s we settled into the DCU Center for what turned into a pretty interesting tilt. There were no fights on the night despite some serious chatter between PL3 and Worcester’s Brad Staubitz. Both clubs seemed pretty content to just play some hockey, and referee Terry Koharski seemed eager to get into his trusty green cooler of Bud Light as not a lot was called.

Thursday February 26th. Anaheim at Boston. George and I were back at the Hub of Hockey, and obviously, Hungry for Hockey. 4 dogs, some cookies and 2 sodas. Not a bad haul. Anyway, the Bruins are back baby! Notice to the rest of the NHL: if attempting to intimidate the Boston Bruins, I might suggest a different strategy. I love the Ducks aggressive strategy, but I love it even more when the Bruins respond. It was a rough and tumble affair the featured 2 fights and one Marc Savard taking matters into his own hands in self defense. Oh, plus a 6-0 bloodletting by the hometown team.

It all got started at 8:20 of the second period. After watching Princeton grad, former teammate, and resident tough guy, Yanni, er, George Parros flatten Marc Savard; Shawn Thornton went right over the boards despite it not being his shift to make big George pay for what he’d done. Thorts hopped over, and went right after Parros. They dropped mitts and had at it. Thornton did pretty well trying to get inside on the bigger Parros to take away the drastic reach advantage. It looked like a couple of shots were landed to the license plate on Parros, and Thornton got the takedown. (No points scored, and in MY NHL, would be an extra penalty for Thornton. The crowd loved it however, so I’ll move on.) Kudos to Thornton for doing his job, and reason number 7829 why I enjoy him so much.

The fireworks continued at the 14:49 mark. There was a little battle for the puck in front of Anaheim’s goal, when Mike Brown decided to cross check Milan Lucic (not my dog. That would be crazy) and then sucker punch Gino. Naturally, Milan went right after Brown, and pummeled him down to the ice. Normally, I take issue with a fighter continuing to throw punches when the other combatant is down, but when you jump someone like Brownie did, all bets are off. Sheldon Brookbank got the gate for being the third man in whilst trying to remove Lucic from his teammate by force. Then everyone, except the Captain of the Bruins, came in to get in on the action. I will never understand why Chara feels the need to stay on the periphery of such events…I guess I should stop expecting him to jump in on stuff like that, but in my mind, they should still be trying to separate him and Brookbank. Alas, the dust up was cleared. Gino went to his box in obvious pain, and anger, screaming at Brown the whole way. Brookbank was shown the door, and play resumed.

It resumed, but it wasn’t long until Scott Niedermayer and Marc Savard were involved in a little tussle. While standing at the far blueline, Niedermayer took it upon himself to plant 3-4 cross checks on the small of Savvy’s back. Having just about enough of that behavior, Savard decided to do something about it. He engaged Niedermayer and both dropped the gloves. It doesn’t look like either guy threw any punches, or the old fart took Savvy down, landing on him. Both were given roughing minors, and Savard did not return. If I may, NIEDERMAYER! DEAD! I really can’t explain how cross I will be if Savard is out for an extended period of time. If Niedermayer is traded back to New Jersey as per one of the rumors I’ve heard, someone on the Bruins better go after him when they return to town next month.

So, there it is. Despite learning all of Kinickie’s songs, and dance moves, I have been on a hockey binge that continues with a very good Flyers game right now, and will continue with the Blackhawks when this one is over. Then to Vancouver for the Tampa Bay matchup at 10. Really, does it get any better than spring hockey?

MOL is in Connecticut visiting our new nephew, leaving me at home by myself to watch the Bruins. Not a bad deal really. I saw the little guy yesterday, and he’s super cute. He does a lot of baby things like sleep, and look around like he’s lost. It’s pretty cool. MOL gets to hang with him tonight, so I have done all my laundry, ate left over Chinese and yelled at Shawn Thornton for having a crappy fight with Toronto’s Jamal Mayers. Like I said, not a bad deal. I’ve been super busy over the last few weeks. I’ll spare you the gory details, but I have made three observations in this young NHL season. They are, in no particular order.

1. I grossly under estimated how good the Bruins are. I mean, when I wrote the piece about the sneaking suspicion I had about their suckatude, I couldn’t have been more off base. Milan Lucic has turned his game around so drastically it’s hard to explain. He’s gone from zero to hero in no time, and I am pretty sure if he ran for Governor of the Commonwealth he’d win in a land slide. Not only is he responsible for a hit that will be played on every jumbotron in every arena in the NHL (well, maybe except for Toronto) for the next 20 years, he’s started scoring and piling up assists at a furious pace. Oh, and don’t forget his first fight of the year last Thursday. In a battle that had Jack Edwards near a stroke, he beat Mike Komisarek like he stole something in a 6-1 thrashing at Boston last Thursday.

On top of Lucic’s improved play, they have the ability to roll four very solid lines. In fact, one could argue the line of Shawn Thornton, Stephan Yelle, and Chuck Kobasew (now that he’s back. The real loser in all of this is Petteri Nokelainen who finds himself the odd man out since Koba’s return) has been the Bruins best and most consistent line. They have been super fun to watch all year, and I have been having the time of my life as a season ticket holder so far.

2. Someone is going to get killed if something isn’t done about the hitting from behind problem. Forget the headshots, I think the biggest disciplinary issue facing the NHL, is guys hitting each other from behind. Tom Kostopoulos’s hit on poor Mike Van Ryan, best known this year as the guy that Milan Lucic almost put into the second row in Boston with his glass shattering hit, and the guy that almost got paralyzed by some asshole with no respect for the other guys on the ice, should have been suspended for at least 5 games. The first thing you are taught when learning how to body check, is don’t hit someone when you can see their numbers. I have heard all the rational that Van Ryan turned at the last minute and the like, but it’s bull shit. Van Ryan fully had his back to Kostopoulos, and the only thing he turns is his head from looking right at the glass, to looking left over his shoulder to see if TK is going to slow up. Guess what? He’s not. Ding Dong. I’ll get it. Oh, and to the announcers out there. All of them. Can we stop defending people that are doing these heinous things on the ice please? Why is there any blame being laid on Mike Van Ryan? Tom Kostopoulos could have pulled up, and shouldn’t have hit him. Sorry or not about it, he had a choice on the ice, and he made the wrong one.

3. This game needs policing. This is NOT your father’s NHL. If it were, they’d still be trying to break up the fight that would have erupted after Tom Kostopoulos hit Mike Van Ryan. There seems to be a lot more punks in the league than ever before. Jarkko Ruutu was running around like a punk earlier tonight against New York, and wouldn’t fight when Aaron Voros tried to fight him. Steve Ott was ringing the bell all over the ice in Boston a few weeks ago, and never would answer the bell. When he slew footed Nokelainen at the end of the first, he should have been held accountable as soon as the second period started, but he never was made to answer the bell. If something isn’t done soon, i.e. removal of the instigator penalty, and guys having more respect for one another on the ice someone is going to get really hurt out there.

So, that’s what I’ve been seeing. Right now I’m watching the third period of the Sharks and Nashville. Jody Shelley just had a nice go with Greg De Vries. Shelley landed a wicked upper cut to win the fight. It was the last of three fights in a row. Nice to see Brad Staubitz get in a dust up with Jordin Tootoo as well. Big Joe Thornton was in the first one. Not much of a fight really. I love the Center Ice Package for this very reason. Anyway, I’d love to hear your opinions on the first quarter of the season so far. Don’t leave me out to dry here goons and goonettes. You know what to do, and as Dave says “Stay Gooney!”

Mr. Excitement is the nick name of one of the guys on my team at work. We are aptly called, The Radiators, because we are bringing the heat! Mr. Excitement like a lot of things, chief among them, video games. Oh and eating contests. Now seems like a good time to mention, Mr. Excitement ate 18 donuts in an 8 hour work day. Doesn’t sound all that hard, but I assure you, it ain’t easy. Anyway, he’s been all over me about getting NHL ’09, caring not that I don’t have Xbox, or Playstation or whatever the hell systems you play these darn fool games on. After pestering me for days, I gave him the homework assignment of playing and reviewing NHL ’09 for the Goonblog readers that might play video games. In typical Radiator fashion, Mr. Excitement brought the heat. Nice works on this…now get back to work….

NHL 09 Review for Xbox 360

I’ve heard many people say that “Oh, sports games are stupid; it’s the same thing every year with just updated rosters.” These people have not tried NHL 09 yet. This game is simply amazing. What jumps to me about this game is the amount of depth this game has. There is your standard vs. play where you pick a team and play against another team. If this game just had this one feature, I’d still be happy with my purchase. Beyond the stellar graphics and true to life physics of the game, it’s just plain old FUN. The action is fast paced and there are tons of big hits in the game.

But the new addition to this years game is the “Be a Pro” mode. When you first start up the game you are prompted to create your player. Naturally I created myself to the best of my abilities, although I’ll admit that my created character is about 20 pounds lighter than my true self and twice as jacked. You are given the choice of your “player type” Your created character can be a playmaker, sniper, grinder, power forward, or a dangler. Or if you create a defensive player you have the option to be a offensive or defensive defender. Even your equipment is customizable; you can select the curve on your stick which affects how you shoot and the length of the blades on your skates which will affect your speed vs agility.

After spending oh, about an hour toying around with the create a player options, I decided to make myself be a sniper on the wing (because I am selfish and love to score goals). After everything was loaded up and ready to go, I decided to get together with some of my friends to test the new 6v6 online feature where everyone on the ice is controlled by another human, and yes, that includes the goalie.

At first we were unable to yield a full 6 to go on the ice because well, not all my friends are huge video game nerds. So we decided to join up on some random team with 15 dudes. Although I am not an advocate of making friends over Xbox Live, I felt this was necessary if I was going to get the full NHL online experience. So after playing a few games online, I’ve come to the realization of a few facts:

1. A lot of people are puck hogs
2. People are stupid.

The first fact shouldn’t be too shocking, I myself am guilty of it. Lots of times you’ll be streaking ahead of your teammate expecting a sweetly timed pass for you to crash to the net. What happens instead is that he holds the puck, while you drift offsides. The ensuing conversation usually happens a couple times a game:

“dude, fucking…stay on sides”
“fucking pass the puck you hog”
“fuck you”

Etc, etc, etc…

My 2nd realization is that yes, people are stupid. Don’t get me wrong, there are people who are out there who want to play a true game, with positioning and passing….and then sometimes you get into games where…..well hmm how do I describe this. It’s akin to 1st grade gym class soccer. The ball is kicked in one direction and you have about 15 kids running after it….you do run into those types of games here sometimes….you also get people who refuse to play any position other than offense….

“Yo let me play center”
“Nah, I’m playing center, be one of the defensemen or goalie”
“FUCK THAT, I’m quitting”

Needless to say, a lot of games starting with a full boat of players usually end with about…4-5 players total sticking around.

You occasionally run into absolute idiots that don’t even know the rules. Now myself, I have never played an organized game of hockey but I know enough of the basic rules to not make an ass of myself. What happened is that we were in a game, and we had a quick counter attack…as we passed the blue line ::Whistle:: Offsides…..WTF? Oh, there was a guy in the corner of the rink, blatantly offsides….No biggie, everyone makes mistakes, we play on. Not less than a minute later, we get another counter attack going. This same idiot is again blatantly offisides…my teammate, realizing this holds the puck in the neutral zone, waiting for the idiot to get onsides. But this guy just keeps….skating around, waiting for the pass. It got to the point where I was screamed into the mic, “GET THE FUCK ONSIDES.” This player soon realizes what he is doing, and then we play on……

Now onto the fighting system…The fighting in NHL09 is a fun little side game which you can basically do anytime. Basically you just press the slash button, and the whistle blows and theres this short cinematic scene where the two combatants circle each other while dropping their gloves. Basically there are three buttons: Grab, Punch, and Dodge. Fights, albeit fun are very short….you can usually knock (or be knocked out) in about 2-4 punches. In my “Be a pro” mode, I have already knocked out a few local AHL players, namely Olli Malmivaara of the Lowell Devils and Brad Staubitz of the Worcester Sharks…..twice!

Overall, playing this game can be summed up by this simple analogy: NHL 09 is a lot like sex…when it’s good, it’s fucking amazing. When it’s bad…well, it’s still pretty good.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day Goons and Goonettes! MOL and I are celebrating by doing Irish Car Bombs, and calling each other boy-o, and laddie. I shall call her Sully for the rest of the evening, demanding she call me Fitzy. I think now might be the time to say, we don’t get out much.

I hope my favorite Lowell Devil is able to hoist a cold one or two tonight. Pierre-Luc LeBlond took one of the hardest left hands to the mind I have ever seen Friday night. It was delivered in a cool third jersey by Worcester Shark, Brad Staubitz. LeBlond had asked him no less than 5 times to go, but Staubitz wanted nothing to do with him. Worcester was killing Lowell, and Staubitz was having a super game. In fact, he earned himself second star. Finally near the end of the game, LeBlond finally got Staubitz to oblige his request to have a go, and I am thinking he may be sorry #6 said yes.

The fight started OK with a little wrestling, and the boys trading a few punches. Nothing too heavy, but they weren’t pillow punches either. Then LeBlond got Staubitz bent over to his right, as it looked like he was going for the takedown. Brad Staubitz, who is as strong as an ox, pulled himself upright, and allowed him to regain his balance. As he got his balance, he got his left arm free and cocked. He then proceeded to lower the boom on PLL, and it was lights out from there. LeBlond went down like a man that has just been punched very fucking hard in the face. I think he may have hit his head on the ice as well. It was one of those punches you could see coming, and I could hear the impact from my seat a few rows away. LeBlond was clearly woozy on his way to the bench, and in fact fell through the door. He was helped up, and never returned. Hopefully he’s back soon, as he is the only interesting thing about Lowell Devils games this season. Off for another car bomb! Please try to behave yourselves tonight boys.

P.S. Here is a good tilt between Kip Brennan, and Pierre-Luc LeBlond