I have many thoughts running around my head. I need to jot them down here. Not all of them of course. I will spare you the ones in which I am dressed like Little Bo Peep reading aloud the PIM stats of my favorite enforcers while Milan Lucic (the dog) circles me barking out the theme from the Dukes of Hazard.

What are the odds the Zedno Chara would get a Gordie Howe Hat Trick, on Gordie Howe’s Birthday? A million to one? In my mind, he has been worthy of the “C” twice. Once earlier in the season when he went after Boris Valabik for running Phil “Trade Bait” Kessel, and the other night when he went after Evgeny Artyukhin of the Lightning the other night. Arty was being a punk and needed to be set straight. Big Z did so. Arty needs to lose the shield as an aside. Don Cherry would call him a coward. Or, a cooo-ward. I bet the fight will be on Coach’s Corner tonight.

I really hate when people spell Lightning, “Lightening”. Drives me crazy.

Milan Lucic looked a lot like Cam Neely on the goal he scored the other night. He made a very “Neelyesque” power move around a defenseman, and ripped a slap shot top shelf on Alex Auld. Tazzer summed it up best saying it looked like #8 going around Rick Green. I couldn’t agree more. I am still not ready to anoint Gino as the next Cam Neely, but if he keeps doing things like he did the other night, it won’t be long.

Whoa. I just figured it out. Cam Neely. #8. Milan Lucic. #17. 1+7=8. I literally just got that. I am not bright.

Is Marc Savard deliberately trying to get Johnny Peirson to come after him? Savvy hates the wrist shot, therefore Johnny would hate him. I can see Johnny now after Savvy’s goal the other night. Savvy took a slap shot and got the puck back, took a wrist shot and scored. Johnny would have said something to the effect of “All you young center men out there, I want you to watch right here. Watch as Marc Savard winds up for the slap shot here. Stop the tape here Fred ( tape would roll an extra three seconds) watch it right here…he winds up for the slap shot and the defense gets set. You want to take a wrist shot there and gain the element of surprise. Watch it here when he learns the error of his ways and gets the wrist shot off here and scores. He was going towards the net and good things happen when you go tooooowards the net.” I miss Johnny.

Who has a bigger head? Ben “Gatorade Bucket” Eager, or Rob “Pumpkin Head” Skrlac?

How long do you think it will take me to resurface after the Bruins win the Stanley Cup this season? Two, maybe three weeks?

Congratulations to Christian Hanson on making his NHL debut last night. Nice work by the Leafs getting him to take the ice first, only to leave him out there all by himself. I love it. No other sport would you be able to get away with that.

Speaking of the Leafs, last night they were talking about Tim Thomas’ new contract on Rogers Sportsnet in between periods of the Leafs game. I’m not sure what announcer it was as I was playing with the dogs, but he was saying it was a bad move to do the deal now because what if he stinks in the playoffs, and he’ll be 35 in a couple of weeks. Dumbass, do some research. Doing the deal now before he turns 35 is the time to do it. Should his game go to shit, he can be bought out and his salary cap hit can be spread out over twice the duration of the deal. They do it after he turns 35, and the number cannot be deleted from the cap number. Very smart move by the Boston brass. It also says something about Thomas. He could have tested the free agent market July 1, with more money probably being offered, but he decided to stay here. Well done Timmy. You deserve it.

I have gotten a few e-mails and comments about my health and well being since my last post. Maybe it was the admitting I was playing with Army guys, or the truth coming out about me writing in my Little Bo Peep outfit. Either way, I am alive and doing….well, I’m alive. Word to the wise. Do not go in the basement. Ever. I appreciate all of the concern.

Killer inquired how I was after the 4 OT thriller in Dallas the other night. I am here to say, that was a heck of a hockey game. I did not stay up for the whole thing though. I watched all of regulation, and it had the feel of a game that was going to last forever. Wisely, at the end of regulation I packed it in. I wasn’t all that surprised to see it had gone to 4 extra sessions though. Neither side was giving an inch, and Marty Turco was playing superbly. Congratulations to Dallas. I’m looking forward to watching their series starting Thursday. Something about these guys tells me they are going to give Detroit all they can handle.

Personally, I think both series are going to be dy-no-mite! In the East, the finalists HATE each other, and in the West, both teams are playing some great hockey. What’s even better news is this story I found on ESPN.com today. Not since old Batman and Robin has there been a duo more dynamic than Barry Melrose and Don Cherry. Both wear loud suits, love the same style of game, and like the spotlight. Getting Grapes is huge for the NHL, ESPN, and the game of hockey. I am looking forward to these guys every night on ESPN. So, Once again, I am alive. Don’t go in the basement, and enjoy the hockey this week boys!